u/Valuable_Sense6084

I left my ex in April because he strangled me. It happened on vacation and I flew home early and moved out, living in hotels for 2 weeks before finally finding a place. He found out where I live by going through my linked bank account on our shared budgeting app.

Because of this I pursued a restraining order. I don't trust him and he threatened suicide with guns multiple times during our relationship, including after he strangled me. I just have no idea if he'd ever snap and come to my door and I desperately needed peace of mind.

For my protective order hearing he showed up with a whole group of friends. One was a friend of his who I had told what happened, and a coworker of his. Seeing all those people also informed me that he is definitely lying, because what happened to me was so violent and I can't imagine they would want to support him if they really knew the truth. I have also been informed by one of the cops I worked with for the report that he is telling a totally different story, saying that I attacked him. So I am sure he is telling people something totally untrue.

As soon as I saw the co-worker I started to get incredibly anxious because it informed me that he was talking to people in our shared industry. We are both tattoo artists in a small city and I am much earlier in my career than him. He always threatened while we were together that if I ever told people about how he was, that he would ruin me.

And now it's happening - mutual friends of ours won't speak to me. I've been blocked by his tattoo shop (a "safe space" shop ironically) and multiple industry people that I was friends with won't even speak to me if I see them in public and have unfollowed me. Some of these people are in shops that I was hoping to be able to move to someday and now it feels like I won't have the opportunity.

I do thankfully still have my own friends and my circle who believes me but it just hurts so much feeling like I am being punished professionally and socially on top of going through the trauma of the abuse. I also don’t have the luxury of avoiding his friends, we are both queer (my ex is a trans man) and I frequently see people that are “his” around at queer spaces.

I can't post anything about what he did because there is a potential court case soon and I don't want to do anything that would damage that. I am also not sure I'm that kind of person. But going through this makes me wish I had the strength to post about it sometimes.

Has anybody ever dealt with anything similar to this before? Especially professionally? How did you cope?

I just finished season 2 and it was a much harder watch than I expected after recently leaving a 4 year abusive relationship.

Watching Josh and Lindsay go at each other viciously and then become loving again in a heartbeat felt painfully familiar. That emotional whiplash was exactly what my last relationship became, and it was a complete nightmare to live inside.

My ex's communication during conflict was repeatedly cruel from early on, but I convinced myself we just communicated differently and that, if I was patient enough, we'd eventually figure it out.

As things escalated into verbal and physical abuse, I found myself saying and doing things back that I never would have imagined in any of my previous relationships. I became someone I didn't recognize, and that's probably the hardest part to process after leaving.

This season made me appreciate how well the show captured what it's like to be trapped in a high-conflict relationship, and how deeply those dynamics can change you over time. I had to pause several times because it was such a difficult watch.

I'm curious if anyone else who's been in a toxic or abusive relationship had a similar reaction/reflection watching this season?

Throwaway account for obvious reasons. I recently left a long-term abusive relationship with a more established tattoo artist in my city. The tattoo community here is strong but fairly small, and my ex has a lot of industry connections.

One of many reasons I was afraid to leave was because they had previously threatened to damage my reputation if the relationship ended. Eventually I left after a serious domestic violence incident involving strangulation and sought a permanent protective order, which I was granted.

At the protective order hearing, their friends and someone from my ex's shop showed up to support them. I am almost certain my ex is not telling people the truth, because I can't imagine they'd want to support them if they knew what happened. Since the hearing, I've also noticed that some industry people and at least one shop have blocked me on social media. Whether that's related or not, it's made me worry about how much this situation could affect my career.

I'm still early in my tattoo career, and I've tried very hard to stay professional. I've only discussed what happened with close friends and a small number of people at my own shop. I haven't made any public posts about my ex, and I don't intend to. There are also pending felony domestic violence charges, so I'm trying to be careful and not do anything that could affect the legal process.

Has anyone else in the tattoo industry been through something similar? How did you handle the professional side of it? Did people eventually see the situation for what it was, or did you find it necessary to rebuild your network elsewhere?