u/Vampiro_moderno

Petty straight forward question. I’d appreciate answers. Trying to learn

I’ve been with my wife for about 5 years. Shes 26, I’m 27. We have our issues but mostly things are great except when it comes to sex. Things feels one sided. If I don’t try to initiate things we could go weeks without having sex. she has hormonal problems, we’ve talked about how she never feels like it really except randomly when she throws herself at me and if I say no she gets offended, but most often it’s me who initiates it. I know my sex drive is higher than hers, and if it were up to me we’d have sex daily. After a lot of conversions about the subject I begun to only try every couple days, taking it upon myself to find a middle ground. We can cuddle and hangout and stuff but she never initiates and when I try to kiss her or take things further it never goes anywhere so I started trying to be more forward and just flat out ask if she wants to have sex. I don’t get offended if she says no. She didn’t like that I started asking telling me that I had to let things progress naturally but like I said, she doesn’t let things progress further than pecks or cuddles. I told her that and she was upset but eventually realized I was right. She’s more okay with me asking now but it doesn’t feel right. It feels like a chore she’s doing. Once things get into it she likes it but like I said she never initiates intimacy or tends to shut me down when I do. I would never cheat on her but it’s getting to the point where I don’t know if I could do this the rest of my life. I don’t expect to have sex daily, but I don’t want to feel like a chore. I’m romantic, we hang out, it’s not always sex. She’s my best friend. I know she’s sick and I try to be understanding but it’s frustrating at times.

Hello. I just want to clarify this isn’t coming out of malice or being secretive. My wife and I both work and share our finances. We’re transparent about our incomes as all our paychecks go to a joint account. We also both bring home about the same money.
I’m a cable contractor and here and there I get side jobs or tips on jobs I do during my routes. Whenever it’s something major like a couple hundred bucks I automatically add it to our joint account but when it’s one offs or smaller amounts like anything under $100 I tend to just pocket the money. Most of it goes to paying for our dates anyway so I see nothing wrong with it, most times I even bring it up in passing when we start chatting about our days.
As of late we’ve been trying to save more money to put a down payment on our first home which means we cut back on a lot of expenses mainly eating out. My wife is pretty good at budgeting, I’m not bad but do slip up more than her with the ocasional burger etc.
I’ve been getting frequent tips these last couple days and technically I haven’t been spending money from my checks but I have been continuing my habits of stopping for a coffee or smoothie here and there. Should I tell my wife? Part of me feel guilty because she’s serious about not spending money but part of me thinks it’s okay since its not part of the budget we made