How to support my wife as a step parent to my kids….
I am a non-binary lesbian (39) and my wife is 31. I have three kids ages 12, 12 and 7 from a previous marriage with a man. I see a lot of step parents that talk about how miserable life is as a step parent is. I do think that it is a huge sacrifice for someone to be a step parent. She and I have talked about what the experiences like and it sounds like she often gets the short end of the stick.
Here’s the thing, I love this woman and I want to do everything I can to consider her and protect her in this relationship because I value her choosing me. I’m curious if anyone has been a step parent who stayed and what did your partner do to make sure that you felt seen and supported? Additionally, what are some pitfalls that I can try to avoid that really drain my partner or the relationship.
There’s a lot of different details I could share, but I think I just would love to hear other people‘s experiences where they’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone who has three kids and are not just completely miserable. I have noticed a trend in relationships that are hetero being really difficult, but I think that queer relationships can also have some of the same issues but the dynamics are also very different. I do not mind her “nacho” parenting and she does try to be at least a little involved. My kids are obsessed with her however, there is just a lot of dynamics that make this trick to navigate as many blended families. Thank you for everyone’s feedback ahead of time.
I would also be down to hear from adult step children, and what that experience was like and how I can consider them. I feel like it’s my job to be a bridge between my step kids and my wife and I want to bring my A game.