My husband and chemsex
Someone in a different group said I should post here too. My husband admits to being a meth addict. I haven't considered whether it is also sex addiction. This was my post in a different group that got me the suggestion to come here too:
Husband and chemsex
We've been together for 14 years and have two kids. He started using 7 years ago. It was weird because he was hanging out with this gay dude constantly and wouldn't let me. I accused him of having an affair with him back then because the guy called him papi. He got furious. Eventually told me they just did meth together.
Over the years I've been focused mostly getting him clean. I'd find dating apps on his phone but never go through them. Even found Grindr a few times but never went through them. I guess I just wasn't ready to know.
2 months ago I found it on there again under a different icon. He had been meeting up with men, multiple men, repeatedly, getting high and fucking for close to two years. He had also been sexting all genders through Reddit and probably Snapchat which he also had.
I obviously freaked out. This was different. This was confirmation.
He for some reason decided to get clean from all of this. He's been sober 44 days. During that time he confessed to being bi. Said he prefer feminine...which made no sense because the men he would seek repeatedly looked masculine as fuck minus the few transwomen he'd see once and never again or the cross dressers.
He was still sleeping with me this whole time. Would ask for it so much I couldn't keep up so bi might be right, but it has been messing with me that the people he would legit seek out time and time again were masculine men. He'd call them daddy and papi which is what I call him. Most of their messages where just about meth and sex. But every now and then he'd help them around the house if they needed say they're sink fixed or garage or something like that. He'd use those few opportunities to tell me where he really was going to sell it like he was just doing a quick handyman gig or helping a friend.
He wants to fix it. He wants to get clean and stop cheating. But I'm just such a fucking mess. Like why just men? It would almost make me believe he was into me a little more if he at least slept with a female too every now and then. He says clean he's not really into men like that, but that makes no sense to me. I've checked meth subs and straight dudes in there say no way does meth make them crave dick.
I'm half waiting for when he's sobered up more for him to confess I was the outlier and he's actually into men most of the time and this isn't going to work out after all.
Is anybody in this boat? Or has been? I just want someone to help me understand.
I am bi. I've known since I was 11. I've been with all gender identities, but faithful in this relationship. I know it's possible to be bi and faithful.