u/Vegetable_Speed_5696

I have dysfunctional family. Narc father, avoidant mother. 2 sisters. One avoidant lost child and the other narc golden child who also is on Lithium.

I had my awakening about 1 year back. Since then I am low contact with the family. Still with them but on a different floor.

Golden child tells everything I talk about to narc father.

Today GC posted on family whatsapp group a very desperate message talking about suicide if not helped with. She wants to freeze her eggs and has turned 40. She needs money to do this. (She has never worked in her life and is paid by father for everything)

I usually have stopped helping or advising her. But the suicide threat (even though I know its false, she cares for herself too much) made me melt and I reached out to her in person. I told her I can help her out with the money and to go ahead. I was a little worried about her mood swings and lithium levels but I know she will dismiss me after she gets the money.

I don't want anything back and there is nothing in it for me except being human. Do you think I made a mistake ?

If yes, how should I damage control ?

TLDR: 7 year saga (6 LDR across 1000s of km). Cheated on my avoidant partner confusing lack of intimacy to my lack of sexual knowledge.
Dead bedroom, no orgasm, LDR and vanishes when in same town. Year 2-5 -> I cheated, she suspected, I lied.
Underwent therapy, came clean, stopped cheating, went no contact with cheating partner
Financial crisis -> FA abandoned but cheating partner stood by my side (but had another guy).
FA came back apologized -> accepted with the condition that I will maintain contact with the cheating partner—fully transparent and no infidelity
FA dumped , apologized, dumped again (blaming contact with cheating partner).

Is she FA or someone simply hurt by my cheating ?

TLDR: 7 year saga. Cheated on my avoidant partner confusing lack of intimacy to my lack of sexual knowledge.
Underwent therapy, came clean, stopped cheating, went no contact with cheating partner
Financial crisis -> FA abandoned but cheating partner stood by my side (but had another guy).
FA came back apologized -> accepted with the condition that I will maintain contact with the cheating partner—fully transparent and no infidelity
FA dumped , apologized, dumped again (blaming contact with cheating partner).

2019: Met my FA.
2020: She moved cities for work
Slowly less and less intimacy and time together.
When we met, she did sex as a chore. I thought the dead bedroom was a result of not being able to make her orgasm.
2021: I turned to X, with the thought of learning sex (I had little experience) while remaining absolutely loyal emotionally (judge me all you want and yes I was stupid).
2022: I found out about avoidant attachment after a deactivation. Instead of realizing the pattern and breaking up, I kept on trying to coax her to seek therapy which she never did.
FA eventually did orgasm but things only went downhill.
FA suspected something was going on between me and X and she did everything to compete with her. If she caught me travelling with X (which I lied and denied), she was now ready to travel with me.
2024 March: I started therapy. Realized my patterns and hers. Things happened rapidly after this.
2024 Sep: FA decided to move continents to UK for studies. Zero discussion with me about our future. I broke up saying zero future but FA begged me to be in touch.
2024 Dec: I broke up with X and confessed. I decided I will never cheat. I will break up rather than cheat. And I told my FA the same.
2025 Mar: I underwent a financial crisis (savings of decades gone, family abuse). FA breaks up.
2025 June: I started talking back to X (now she had a new guy).
2025 Aug: FA came back. Apologized. I agreed to take her back on one condition: I will continue talking to X since she was one of the few who stood by my side during my crisis.
2025 Sep : Deactivated. Blaming me for talking to X
2025 Oct: Came back. I said NO without therapy.
2025 Nov , Dec: Monthly check-in to see therapy progress
2025 Dec: Stopped therapy but begged me to visit her once in UK.
Decided one last hurrah to UK to live together for a month after 7 years of relationship.
2026 Jan: Could not go due to work
2026 May: Reached UK from India. Deactivated and dumped the next day. Somehow managed to recover luggage and money before she deactivated fully and blocked me.