u/VermithraxPej33

I really want to own a pair of jeans but I have struggled so hard to find any that work for me. I tried men's jeans but they look awkward on me in the lap area. Women's jeans often have too high a rise (I'm only 5'6'') and look ridiculous on me and also it is really hard to find women's jeans with a large percentage of cotton. The Levi's line I used to wear (311/312) is only 60% cotton and when I looked at it yesterday I just...they did not look like real jeans, more like jeggings. Looking for a midrise straight leg jean that has a very high cotton content with inseam options so I can cuff them. Budget would be...let's say under $200.

I hope this is allowed, if not please let me know. This is more of a discussion question. I am a clothing nerd and love fashion and am hoping to find like minds. I was reading in a subreddit where someone was talking about different luxury brands. I feel like there are some that are very common, that everyone knows (Chanel, Dior, YSL, Gucci, Hermes, obviously Louis Vuitton). Then there is a second tier of luxury that I feel like is luxury but you would not know that unless you were into fashion, (Jacquemus maybe, Loewe, Thom Browne.) I kinda like the second tier more because I feel like even when there is a logo, a lot of folks do not know the logos so it does not feel as..."loud" as wearing some of the other brands. I also feel like some of the secondary brands lean less into "logomania", I mean there is still a logo but it is not like when you see a head to toe Gucci monogrammed sweat suit. What is y'all's take on luxury clothing? Do you think some brands are overly reliant on logos and monograms and if so, do you feel they are less strong design wise? Or are you a fan of "logomania" and if so what about it appeals to you? What do you all feel about the overall state of luxury clothing "design?"

Hello! I am a woman but I prefer to present as either gender neutral or masc leaning. I'd like to find high quality brands that use natural materials (silk, cotton, wool) that make both staple and interesting gender neutral pieces. Sometimes with men's clothes, they are more functional and better quality but they can also be quite boring, like I love Banana Republic but there are only so many black or navy t-shirts I can own. I am open to most kinds of brands including designer (though as vintage or resale preferably). I'd describe my style as a pared down mix between like Billie Eilish and Donald Glover. So like some classic stuff with some eclectic stuff mixed in, like classic, eclectic, edgy I guess. I am about 5'6'' with a relatively muscular body (broad shoulders, big thighs and calves, slightly smaller waist, my tummy is not round but it is not flat either and I am a little sensitive about it). I understand ideally that like making my own clothes would be a good move but I just do not have the time and energy for that, nor the space. :( I do have a good tailor though.

Hi! First time posting here. I just purchased a Loewe x Studio Ghibli puzzle bag after trying a regular one in store, I found I really liked it. Someday I think I'd like to get a regular puzzle bag. I think it is a cool design, but what really sparked for me is that it is a great size, lightweight, and pretty neutral in terms of gender. I am a woman but tend to lean more masc presenting so am looking for crossbody bags (in real leather) that do not cost an arm and a leg but do not look super "purse-y" if that makes sense. But I really am only familiar with like the major designer brands so am wondering if others have brands they like that maybe I have not yet heard of. The puzzle bag I got was a size small so if that gives you an idea of roughly the size I am looking for, something that might fit keys, a flat wallet, mid-sized phone, and a small water bottle. I am totally open to color, will take neutrals, black, or something bold, just no white or cream. I had a YSL college bag which worked in terms of size but the divide in the middle of the bag and the shape just did not work for me, but I loved loved loved the black hardware it had. I am a sucker for cool or edgy hardware.

I am an artist, I paint. And it seems every other week I am ready to put my foot through my paintings because I hate them and I think they are weak and no good. I realize that I have this tendency to think I should be doing something MORE, something BIG, something IMPACTFUL. And I always feel like my art never lives up this expectation. Then I looked at some paintings I did that I really liked, and I was like what makes these powerful and others not? Even though maybe they are not technically the best (in terms of skill, I do see a few weak spots) they are really...powerful. Like, I am not trying to brag but when I look at these paintings I really feel where I was at when I painted them. And then I realized there is something I do very well, and it is ok to continue doing that thing. That that THING is good enough. It is enough.

Now to tie it to AuDHD, I feel like ADHD starts all these little fires of these AMAZING things I think I need to do or should do, it also tells me I need to try new things and experiment and go in all these different directions, but perfectionism (I attribute this to my autism, making sure everything is done completely and done well) ensures that those things never turn out the way I intend. Then I feel not good enough and look at other artists (the stand in for neurotypicals) and wonder why I cannot be as successful or why my work is not as good. But if I think about it, I have been at least somewhat successful. I have quite a few pieces (I have four presently) that are showing or have been shown in different galleries and spaces.

And it is not a despite-this thing, like I am successful despite AuDHD, I am successful because of it. (I will not argue it is a superpower as it kicks my a** a ton), but the obsession (special interest) in music and flowers, and the hyperfocus that has allowed me to perfect my techniques and materials have combined to allow me to make some really cool things. I have this affirmation card that says "I am me, and that's Ok." And also a Skeletor meme that says "You matter and you are enough." Those two threads are starting to come together for me. I cannot promise that next week I will not hate all my paintings again, but at least I might pause before I rage-trash them.

I want to blame my parents for this but that is probably not fair. Both my parents love to shop and I adapted shopping as a coping mechanism when I was in college. That is also where I started watching runway shows and reading fashion magazines. I now understand that aside from craving those dopamine kicks from buying something new, clothing/fashion/style is one of my special interests. I get obsessed with different things: sterling silver jewelry, canvas pants, 80s power dressing, and it consumes my whole world. I spend hours looking for the perfect pieces, even when I should be working (I am frustrated with my job so that does not help) or doing adult tasks but I cannot switch that part of my brain off once it gets on.

And I have tried to guilt myself out of it, "overconsuming is bad!" and "you have enough clothes" and "you've spent too much money" and "how will you wear all this" but as I am sure some of you know, that does not really work. You get very sad, you need dopamine, and you are right back where you started. And unlike a lot of compulsive clothing shoppers, I genuinely love a lot of my clothes, nothing compares to when I find the perfect piece for me and I imagine how I will style it and where I would wear it. The clothes I love, I wear them, I get attached to them. And then when I acknowledge I have gone too far, I struggle to get rid of anything and then I feel ashamed. I am actually holding on to stuff because I managed to give away 14 bags of clothes to this lady but I am afraid she will judge me when I show up with more. 😞

And the number of things that never got worn because I got obsessed with some concept and then that obsession died? 😞 😞 😞 Or I fell in absolute love with the item on the hanger and then after several months my presentation shifted or my mood changed and suddenly the thing is not as beautiful as it was before. I have tried where you put stuff in your cart and then wait on it, and sometimes that works. But sometimes when I find something that rings all the bells I just spend the time until payday obsessing over that thing and buy it as soon as the check hits. I blow a lot of money right after I get paid, and I would like to stop doing that. Or at least be more controlled/strategic.

I wish desperately that I had a friend that loved clothes as much as I do (I had one but that fell apart) because I feel like if I could talk to someone and share my interest that would scratch the itch and I would not feel the need to shop so much. Some of my group chats have channels for fashion but often I end posting a lot of stuff and talking to myself, and then I feel weird, like I am being too much so I stop engaging. I would like to love my special interest without guilt and shame, and without feeling like a loser who has no life and so spends all of their time on eBay. Sorry, it is just that this has been eating away at me for a few months now, I am not sure what I need now. Advice, commiseration? General acceptance? I don't know, I am just feeling pretty down about all this.

Advice is actually welcome if you have some.

Also, TW: self-harm.

I am having some issues. I have been really angry the last few weeks. Angry at the state of the world. Angry at people as a general population, especially men. And angry at work because I am feeling more and more like a cog in a machine (an ill fitting cog at that), and eff corporate America, and the direction my company is going in makes me worried about layoffs and having a general overall feeling of "If this is the future I do not want it." And I am angry because I am burnt out and there is a never-ending list of things that need to be done, and I live alone so I have no one to delegate these tasks to. Normally in these sort of meltdown states I eat a ton of sweets, or buy a bunch of clothes, or self-harm. In fact, I just bought a bunch of clothes last week.

I know the shopping and eating are not healthy, but God the dopamine. And it was how I avoided SH for a while. Now I am just sitting here with my weighted dragon and listening to this Coldplay song "O" over and over and over again trying not to lose my ish again. (I've been losing it all morning.) My SH demon is back, and I am trying not to look it in the eye. I just do not know what to do with all this anger, it is bordering on rage at this point and I feel like I might snap. Which is not a good state to be in because I have to talk to my director later this afternoon. Hopefully the dragon will keep me sane til then. I am used to like being angry and then being spurred to action to fix something. But I am lost right now, dealing with stuff I have never had to deal with before.

My therapist asked me to ID stress triggers and I thought:

it's being a woman in a world full of misogyny,

it's being black in a world full of bigotry,

it's being sensitive in a world full of anger, hatred, and violence

it's being a creative forced to trudge along in immoral corporate America

it's being neurodivergent in a world obsessed with conformity.

Then yesterday, I was cleaning my office and found my copy (with pastel fingerprints) of "Oh, the Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss, rereading it was like getting a hug from an old friend. "And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.) KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!" I've been so down lately, this reminded me how hopeful I was fresh out of college, before I spiraled and regressed and got diagnosed and got burnt out. It almost feels like in spite of all those triggers I could still have a good life, if I just keep going. It is not great now, but maybe eventually I will wind up somewhere really cool and be happy.