u/VeterinarianCivil555

I'm not sure if this is the right community to post in, but its wedding themed, kindly bear with me.

My bestfriend Ava who I know since middle school got married recently. I will come back to this.

I had a male friend Chad who is an event planner, when I went to his city to meet him last year, he got me drunk and tried to molest me. This happened in his apartment, when I tried to book uber back to my hotel resisting him, he snatched the phone away. I was drunk,but I panicked so badly. Somehow i escaped from there.

When I felt I was in danger, it was like my body gave my awareness back, even though I was drunk.

I returned to my hotel I had booked in that city and the first call was to my best friend Ava. We talked things through and I felt little at ease.

I was shocked at what Chad did. I trusted him enough to drink with him alone. I thought I knew him. I cut off all contact immediately even though the next day he started apologising to me.

Anyways, 4 months later, my best friend Ava tells me she hired Chad as event planner for her wedding. I was shocked to say the least.

She asked me do I mind.

Do I mind? How can she even ask me that? I say no and pretend to be okay with it since her mom is Ill and she somehow is convinced that he the best planner of the century.

I was so hurt but at the same time i was second guessing myself if I was allowed to be hurt. I felt betrayed by her. I felt betrayed by Chad too. It was like i lost two friends. I was so angry at him for ruining our friendship. I was angry at him for being a monster masquerading as a gentleman.

If I said I have a problem with it, I was scared she would resent me for ruining her wedding. I planned her bachelorette, showed up to all bridesmaids duties. Avoided him at the wedding at all costs. I waited until her honeymoon was over and then I told her I no longer want to be her friend. She said I'm making her wedding all about me etc etc.

I told her wedding is done, honeymoon is done, she got what she wanted, i DIDNOT ruin her wedding. I even waited until her honeymoon is over to end things. But I cannot forgive her. So AITA?

I, 31F have been friends with 31F since we were in school. Always together, quite a pair. Our friendship started cracking a little by little after i started noticing how selfish she is. We even went to college together. I always thought the friendship was one- sided. I was the one who had to do things for her.i was the one who had to apologise first for a stupid fight she started. For years since school, I have always apologised first to soothe her ego and handled all her tantrums. She broke up with her ex in college and I was her support system. Even though he was a good friend, I cut him off, because it was the right thing to do.

When I got an internship opportunity after college, she ended up convincing me to convince the office to take her instead of me because her male bestie worked there, and find another office to apply. I thought maybe this is what she needs after a breakup. So, yes i convinced my boss to hire her instead of me and found another internship. She ignored me after that and didn't reach out until after the internship was over and we were back in hometown.

Fast forward to now, she is marrying that male bestie.

Now here's my problem.

In the past, I had this food caterer friend who tried to take advantage of me when I visited him during my visit to his city and we got drunk. I vomited, and he told me to sleep it off on his couch.

He basically tried to force himself onto me, and when I tried to make him stop by repeatedly shouting NO, he sort of panicked, and I grabbed my things and left. We weren't closest friends and I never gave him any indication that I liked him, anyways, I cut this friend off from my life after that.

Now here's the part where I might be an asshole. My bestfriend hired this caterer friend to cater for her wedding. The first person I called after leaving his house was her. I was so scared and alone in that city. I trusted this person enough to drink with him and he betrayed me in the worst possible way.

She knew what he did and still hired him. When she told me she was hiring him I was devastated.

I didn't react though. I attended her wedding, hid the fact that I was angry at her until her wedding was over. I didn't want to cause drama when she was getting married. Pretended that everything was okay till the day of her wedding and the next day i blocked her from everything.

She tried contacting me after returning from her honeymoon, but i told her i needed some space. I'm so hurt, if this would have happened to her, I would never do this. Hiring someone who i dislike is okay. But hiring someone who tried to molest your bestfriend, is that okay? Did I have to spell it out to not hire him?

I was actually excited for her wedding but on the day, I left without eating.Our mutual friends say she was busy with wedding. So, am I the asshole?