u/ViolaRosie

Sooo my FET is this Wednesday July 8th and I have a dinner with a close friend on the 7th the night before. We usually get a drink at dinner and she will be highly suspicious if I don’t get one and tbh I kind of want one last glass of wine! I had one mimosa last month at brunch because I’m just not a big drinker to begin with. The place we go to has fantastic wine and I would get one glass of my usual. Has anyone done this and it’s been ok? 😬 obviouslyyy never would do this after transfer but I’m wondering if the night before is OK?! Also I just want to be as normal as possible we decided not to tell anyone that we’re doing a transfer.

First time FET and was surprised when the clinic asked which gender we wanted to transfer. We told clinic we did not want to know gender (s) of our embryos after our ER. I’m going to be 38 yo this year and I’m just desperate to have a healthy baby either way. But then transfer time came and the nurse asked which gender we wanted to transfer and I said we wanted to go with the best quality embryo the clinic selects I want the highest likelihood of getting pregnant I’m far too traumatized by my past loss to go through that again. The nurse seemed hesitant her response made me question? But really though I couldn’t possibly choose! Did you choose your gender? Did you go with the highest quality? My FET is the 8th and now I’m like should we have chosen one? If it works out I’d rather be surprised. Now I’m panicking? I’m not sure why.

How likely is it that my actual FET would fall on July 8th? I know from doing ER’s that things change constantly and I stimmed far longer and went past the date on my original calendar. Here’s my FET timeline so far:

Stopped BC Pill June 20th

Baseline Ultrasound June 23rd lining 3.62 mm trilaminar

On 2mg estrogen 3x daily plus 1 patch

Next check is July 1st - tentative start of PIO on July 3rd with tentative FET on July 8th per my calendar from the clinic. I keep reading about women on estrogen for 2 solid weeks before starting PIO so I’m wondering if my actual FET will get pushed back. Trying to guess for my work and my husband’s work is stressing me out! If anyone who has a lot of experience with medicated cycle timelines can share their timeline I’d love to hear. My clinic seems confident that once I stopped the pill that my transfer would be about two weeks later so I’m going off my calendar right now. But my egg retrieval they were way off with and that caused me significant problems getting days off work.

I’m extremely sensitive to medications- increase in insomnia, anxiety and headaches are my biggest worry. I start estrogen tablets three times a day plus one patch for my first FET. How did you feel? Any tips to make these couple of weeks better on these medications? Hoping I could be one of those women who has zero side effects.

I literally want to cry right now- I struggled immensely on the bc pill and had a hysteroscopy done prior to my first FET only to go to my baseline ultrasound and find that I have a large follicle on my right ovary HOW?! The NP is hoping it’s not estrogen producing and I have to wait for my estrogen levels to come back to see if I get to proceed with the FET.

If this happened to you how did it go? Did you end up having to restart everything and wait another cycle before proceeding with FET? Did your E2 level end up coming back OK even with a large follicle? I’m feeling not so optimistic. The hardest part of this whole thing is the bc pill for me and the thought of having to go back on it AGAIN and start over is making me upset right now. She did not seem very optimistic I should’ve asked the size and I did not. She did say my lining looked very thin though.

Our first tentative FET is July 8th and I’m ready to burst with anticipation, anxiety etc. It is summertime so of course everyone is making weekend plans. I am having a hard time with wanting to make a lot of plans because I’m unsure how I will feel if this works or doesn’t work. I want to give myself the space to mentally process everything either way. My mom and two close friends are the only ones who know we did an ER. I just wanted the added support during that time and I had to do a lot of changing of plans to accommodate that.

I feel bad that weekend after my transfer I’m going to go ghost on my original plans because I just know I’ll want to be at home with my husband. We opted not to tell anyone at all that we’re doing a transfer. I do struggle with some anxiety and depression at times so I do best when I can process things in a calm environment and alone.

Since I don’t have anyone else in my life that I know going through this process - I was wondering if any of you told anyone in your life you were doing a transfer? Was it a positive or negative experience? I think my biggest fear with telling anyone is that if it doesn’t workout then I will have friends or family asking.

We are doing our first FET tentative date is July 8th and I am extremely excited/anxious. We opted not to tell anyone but I’m just bursting over here. We also do not know the gender of our embryos and we are having them transfer whatever is the highest quality. Gender reveal to be in the labor and delivery room if we’re lucky 🤞🏻 After my miscarriage last year and egg retrieval it took a lot of mental, physical and financial preparation for me to get here.

It’s summer so of course people are texting me to make plans and it’s unusual for me to go ghost. Only two very close friends and my mom knew we did an ER. But I want to keep the FET between my husband and I. The weekend after the FET I want to stay home and basically be alone with my husband to emotionally process the result either way. I’m very social so I’m trying to navigate how to cancel/approach plans. Even as social as I am, I am very private when it comes to my health things and not ready to share the transfer with anyone. Did you tell people in your life you did a transfer, did you keep it private? I’d just love to hear for fun really.

Basically I am on thin ice with my attendance at work and it’s making me feel very anxious. I am a nurse at a hospital and I have a very physical job on a med-surg floor. My hospital is very strict with attendance and I am on my last step before being let go. Last year I had a traumatic miscarriage and had to take time off work. I also ended up with a kidney stone and needed a stent/surgery and wasn’t able to lift patients with a stent inside of me. Then when all of that was done we did an egg retrieval and unfortunately my ovaries were huge and I was unable to lift patients and had to take time off. My trigger shot was scheduled for a night shift I was working so I had to call off for that too. Then post surgery I had fluid in my abdomen and I could not work for 2 weeks because I could not lift patients. I took some time off after egg retrieval and didn’t transfer right away because basically I would’ve lost my job due to attendance. I love my job and have been doing it for 10 years. Unfortunately now with moving into transfer and finding out I now have to have a surprise hysteroscopy under anesthesia I’m nearly out of call offs and time off. My boss has accommodated me as much as he possibly can but there may be a point in the next month or two that I need to make the tough decision to leave.

I’m also struggling because some of my co workers have made comments about my attendance but they don’t know that I’m going through IVF and miscarriages. I don’t feel like I owe them an explanation but honestly if I just told them maybe it would shut some of them up.

I dropped down to a different casual position with less shift requirements so hopefully that will help me temporarily. My husband is very supportive and thinks I should quit and maybe find a desk job somewhere until we’re finished. I am having an identity crisis because being a nurse in a hospital is all I know. I’m basically just feeling like a failure at work right now.

We are moving into our FIRST FET. I started the bc pill this week and last minute found out when they billed out insurance that there would be a separate hysteroscopy prior to our FET. I was never informed of this at any point by the clinic or the doctor. I sent a message to my clinic right away. I was wondering if anyone else was required to have this done prior to their first FET? I had a saline sonogram done prior to our ER and everything was normal.

Anyway- it’ll take them a day or so to get back with me so until then I thought I would ask on here. I read online that after a hysteroscopy I would have to wait an entire cycle before transfer. I have a pretty grueling job and I had already taken some time off for this upcoming transfer based on the tentative timeline they gave me so for this to crop up very unexpectedly last minute I’m just feeling upset. I’m just feeling like my vagina is a science experiment at this point and I’m exhausted mentally. I just cried for the last hour over this.