u/ViolentVBC

So... I guess I didn't eat enough food after getting Skol fucked with my turtle last night, because I woke up this "morning" on the ground in my pile of "clean" laundry, questioning everything about where my life is going...

Where did you come from?

Where did you go?

Where did you come from? Cotton Eyed... John??

Anyway, so I refilled my vodka glass and ordered a burrito named John from a Door Dasher named Christopher, and I'm right as reign again... maybe.

I know I was lying on the floor, because I need to do laundry for work clothes, butt it turns out I found a shirt down there that'll doo just fine, so... winning!

Anyway... Moral of the story, I think, is that you should definitely eat food if you're gonna chug vodka all day.

Even if most of Christopher's burrito named John falls on the floor, you just gotta eat that shit up and keep drinking~

Happy Satur-Yay CA!!!

It's that time of the week where we all list our many many... many "successes!"

Or maybe at least one good thing happened this week?

My success is that my fam mowed my yard for me to pay me back for dog sitting, which means I don't have to push mow in 101 degree heat.

I'm kinda worried though, because I know they have a key to my place, and might have snuck in and seen my drunken depression nest...

Oh well though, at least I don't have to mow!

I also bought a handle of Skol vodka so that I can get Skol-fucked the whole weekend, but sadly, someone already drank over half of it...

Oh well, at least I had a "delicious" "meat loaf" dinner!

Anyway, enough about how awesome my life is...

How you all is?!

Anything good happening in your life at all? Even if it's just beating your record of consecutive days lived, let's hear about it!

OGs and CA Noobs, here's your chance to shine on you crazy diamonds.

Been fucking around too much, calling out a couple of Mondays a month...

They're onto me, and not in a good way.

Don't think I'm quite in fire him territory, but yeah...

I really really really wanna find oblivion tonight and never work again, but it's not in the cards... Gotta make that skrilla.

Also, Primus sucks!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RE2oERgJkXg&list=RDRE2oERgJkXg&start_radio=1

So a few years back I was unemployed drinking vodka pretty much 24/7... good times, but it was really destroying my body and mind (or what's left of it), so I decided I needed an active job that would take at least 40 hours of drinking out of my life each week while getting paid to exercise.

I decided to go work for the post office as a mail carrier.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but... I was taking away closer to 60 hours of drinking from my life each week, while burning a ton of calories.

But this isn't about that, this is about the epic rubber band ball I made with all of the rubber bands that ended up finding their way home with me each day!

Oh, and disclaimer, I was never drunk on the job. I was always too exhausted after work to *really* drink, so the vodka times turned into just a few beers a night, so sober mournings...

But anyway, the rubber band ball!

Autopsy confirms that the "Bibi balls" were indeed rife with cancer, most likely due to the Iranian nuclear program.

Is it Satur-yay? Have been "time traveling" on vodka, Natty, and weed, so am not positive...

Have had successes though, and wanted to post them since shit gets depressing round here too mulch.

Not sure if I'd mentioned before, but I finally payed off my student loans!!!!

Took like 8 years, but Sallie Mae ain't got nothing on me anymore!

Also took some hail damage on my fully covered car, so made an insurance claim on that, and after like a solid month of back and forth where they tried to take my car away from me, they ended up settling and paid off the remainder of my car loan! Also had enough left over that I could pay off my last plumbing emergency :D

Still broke, but only like $7k in non-mortgage debt now, so good times~

Other successes were that I survived a 5 day family vacay where I didn't drink any vodka until my fam all went to sleep around 10:30 PM... The WDs kicked my ass, but I survived.

Would get plastered every night when they napped and play this incredible Mina The Hollower game on my Switch 2 until like 2-3 AM. I highly highly recommend that game.

Also also, my yard was overgrown from not having mowed it in ages, so I tried to wake up early and get er mowed before the rains came...

Failed at getting it mowed before the rain, and wiped out on a hill trying to mow real fast while drunk and high... Wouldn't recommend ...

Luckily when I flipped onto my back, I launched my mower away from me. I could just as easily have slid underneath it though, so... no more drinking and mowing for me I'm afraid.

Also accidentally ran over a snek, which I'm bummed about, but not as much as the poor snek...

Did end up mowing the whole lawn, just in the rain. Still win though, and I have all my fingers!

Edit: tornada durned knocked out ma power... will reply more when I can

So yeah, we all know how hard it can be to take care of ourselves when we're on a bender, but we always used to have /r/CA_Chores/ to help motivate each other to do whatever we could to get out of our drunken depression nests for a bit...

Things definitely feel less shitty when we clear some of that all up.

So /r/CA_Chores/ has been revived! And hopefully won't immediately be neglected and die (like poor Lil Timmy...).

Join us and post some wins! Or attempts at getting things together-ish.

Sometimes just getting hammered and blasting some music is the best way to get things clean-ish.

To get things started, here's my rusty pile o' tools I organized!