Why does women's ambition threaten so many people?
Recently, there has been a heated debate on my country's social media platforms.
It started when a female pastor said that a married woman, regardless of whether she has a bachelor's degree or any other level of education, should not be expected to be the only one washing her husband's underwear.
To provide some context, where I come from, a married woman is generally expected to do almost all the household chores, take care of the children, and manage the home even if she has a full-time job. If a family hires a housekeeper who ends up doing more of the household work than the wife, including washing the husband's clothes, the wife is often labeled as lazy.
After the pastor's statement went viral, many people especially men reacted negatively. Some said, "This is why girls shouldn't be sent to school." Others argued that educated women no longer want to live the way our mothers and grandmothers did. Instead of discussing her point, many attacked her personally, saying, "That's why you're a divorced single mother." Others claimed that financially independent women believe they don't need men and no longer value marriage. Sadly, even some women joined in with similar criticisms.
Watching this debate made me question the society I live in. It sometimes feels as though a woman is expected to choose marriage over her career, and if she prioritizes her education or professional goals, she is seen as selfish or anti-marriage.
What confuses me even more is the double standard. When a woman says she isn't thinking about marriage because she wants to focus on her career, many people become angry and accuse her of rejecting family values. Yet when a man says he is focusing on his career instead of marriage, he is often praised and encouraged. The reactions are completely different depending on whether it's a man or a woman making the same choice.
It makes me wonder why ambition is celebrated in men but so often questioned in women.