u/Vivid-Act-6442

My husband (33) and I (32) will TTC our 1st in October and I've been battling for the last 2.5 yrs this hellish cycle of BV and yeast. If its not one then its the other. Ive been through 3 gynocologists. One of which dismissed me and told me im fine.

I did a full screening using EVVY as a last ditch effort to see wtf is going on and the results were that I had no good bacteria and lots of bad. That even if I wanted to conceive, I wouldnt be able to because the flora is not sustainable for sperm. And to fix this I needed to do a week of boric acid. A week of antibiotics, two fluconozale tablets, and ive been doing oral probiotics and vaginal probiotic suppositories for 2 weeks now.

Youd think that would fix me right? Wrong. Something is still off. I bought another test so I can see whats happening and will take that tonight. And yes - my husband and I abstained during the first 3 weeks of this process and have had sex twice with condoms during the probiotic period to not mess anything up. Yes.

Im so exhausted from this I could cry. If I cant get this under control then I wont be able to conceive at all and Its making me so distraught because it feels like a constant battle that Im always losing.

For mothers day, my husband (33M) did something special for the biomom (34F). But he did nothing for me. When I brought it up, it turned into an argument in which he told me "Are you a mom?!? No".

This cut very deeply as I lost a child (miscarriage) from a previous relationship and he knows this. He also refers to me as his daughters "bonus mom" and insisted she call me "Momma S" (I told her she can call me whatever she wants, as long as its respectful.).

Anyway, that comment he made... it made me feel very small. It made me feel disposable and like he doesn't actually believe I'm a "bonus mom" like he claims... like I'm only a bonus mom when it's beneficial for him and my SD ... but deep down its not something he believes.

And its started to make me feel like being petty. Like if he asks me to do something for my SD - I want to be like "am I her mom?!? No".

But obviously I don't want to do that because I love my SD and I don't want to do anything that would hurt her or my relationship with her.

Last year, he did something for me for mothers day. It was my first one. I felt special. And I don't know what's changed.

But I've been sitting on this for two days now and the feeling hasnt gotten any better.