u/Want_To_Live_To_100

My (39) wife (39) is moving careers to a MUCH more stable job starting at $140k with 15% bonus and $25k retention package over 3 years coming from $110k with a failing company that will be out of gas by the end of the year I suspect. It's 90 minutes of driving in traffic each way so we are planning to relocate next spring. I'm at $155k, we have two kids 6 and 8. We don't want to uproot them but its going to happen... Better schools, better area... We just think it's the right move.

I do not want to downgrade from our current house, we love our existing home valued at roughly $700k now with $240k left on the mortgage. So we are looking at a similar size new construction home for $950k. Our house today MIL Rate is 37 and our assessment came back saying we will owe an additional $1k/mo on our current PITI payment, the NEW town MIL rate is 24. We have cash on hand to cover (Paving, Window Treatments, Appliances outside the allowance, movers, initial landscaping). There is NOT much out on the market in the towns we are looking .... its either RENOVATE or build, anything that's nice and even overpriced is gone FAST.

Monthly Take Home is estimated around $17k (gross $26k). I feel like $11,800 is enough monthly to cover all the "stuff". I have a pretty detailed budget and i feel like we have decent padding. I'm expecting the $25k retention will be comfort buffer as well for new house unknowns for the first 3 years of a new house.

Am I going to REGRET this decision? Our first house was $180k in 2013.... so this is anxiety inducing for sure but the numbers I see say its ok.... r/mortages is like GO FOR IT while r/personalfinance says YOU'RE GOING TO BE POOR AND STARVING....

What's this groups' take?

Looking to possible take on a $5200 (PITI) monthly bill for a new $950k house. Our current house has about $400k-$450k in equity (Bought at 385k and probably sell for 700k) and our current Payment is $2900 (PITI).

Current HHI is $265k so we are comfortable with our bills right now with two young kids in HCOL area. We might have to move for my wife's new job which would put us at $295k HHI.

Am I over thinking this?

Like most of you, I have a very details budget and it technically works out but doubling my payment is making me nervous as hell. The new town has a MUCH lower MIL Rate so i'm getting more house for my money. The schools are WAY better. The new commute for my wife would be 30 mins version 90 mins. My commute goes up from 25 mins to 45 mins though.

Wife (39) is looking at a new job at a very stable company from her start-up that is floundering quickly (Biotech). $115k to potentially $135k-$140k with a top end of $185k. Problem is the commute is 90 minutes with traffic each way. We have a great rural home with lots of privacy and yard for the kids (7 & 9) I've put YEARS of hard work into this home. I (39) make $155k and commute 25 mins, she commutes 30 mins as well.

Current House: Value $650k-$700k, Owe $248k (~$400k Equity) ($2900/mo PITI) (Mil Rate 37), reassessment just came in, expect the PITI to be $3900 shortly... We bought the house at $385k

New Comparable House ~$950k ( $400k Down, $5200/mo PITI) (Mil Rate 24)

Pro's: (MUCH better school system), wife happiness, wife stable job finally, new job offers attrtactive relocation package, new house wife commute is the same 30 min.

Con's: Uproot kids (but we don't have extremely close friends here), Start over 30 year mortgage at 40, moving sucks, New house is 45-50min commute for me.

Current Net Worth: $1.2M ($450k house, $690k 401k, $40k brokerage, remainder liquid)

New Monthly Take Home would be estimated $16.5k (after 401k/tax/insurance), and I'm freaking nervous about a high mortgage...

Is this move worth it for my wife's sanity and better schools for the kids long term.