u/Warm-Mango-2003

Why does everything get so overwhelming these days?? I don't know why I'm always on edge but it's just so frustrating, I try to talk to my mom about it but she would just hug me and say focus on your studies everything will be alright 😭🙏 nothing will be alright mummyyy, I just don't want my mind to feel foggy for once.

I don't think I've felt relaxed since the day I started my undergrad. Post graduation really took away my love for the subject, like where's the essence it's all theoretical now. And then there's this constant worry about career and future, I really wanna settle down as soon as I can but I don't see that happening in near future🥀.

I can't be pessimistic all the time with my friends, it's really hard, overthinking everything and just ruining your day for no reason. It's been like this for a long time and I don't see how to break this loop. I really enjoyed reading books and watching movies, it was a gateway for me to escape reality but I can't seem to focus on anything for a long time nowadays. Well, I think it's just a problem with my attention span but I WANT OLD ME BACKKK😭, Like wtf is wrong??? Fuck you PG and adulthood 💔

okay so there was this guy I met on Insta, he's not from here. We started talking eventually about movies, comedy and our career. He genuinely seemed aware of everything and was also polite. Just after one week of talking he said that he's developed feelings for me and started flirting like crazy. I was resisting everything at first but he was just my type so I eventually gave in 😭🙏. He used to video call me everyday after work and would give me kisses on call, would call me cute names( I know it's cringe but let's be honest it's not cringe when you're the one in the relationship). Basically love bombed me so hard, I started liking him a lot, I made adjustments in my routine... I sleep early but I used to wait for him till 11 so we could talk even though I had early classes in the morning. But I liked everything cause he was so sweet. Dare I say I started loving him? don't kill me but the day he said that he's dying to meet me my heart skipped a beat like whattttt???it's this serious for this guy?? it's getting so lengthy so yeah I was ready to meet him after exams I was planning to visit him and it's been like 2 weeks only... Everyday I would send him a fit check and he would do the same butttt after sometime his replies got really dry and it felt like he was forcing himself to talk to me... this went on for 4 days and on the 5th day I slept early and he didn't call didn't text even. Later in the morning I wished him and asked him why he didn't call... no reply till 3 pm and it was Saturday... he was not working that day. I was frustrated and sent him a whole ass paragraph saying that it's not working out it always feels like I'm begging you when I text you blah blah blah. and he said "I'm sorry it didn't work out. I realised this is not the time for me to be in a long distance, I'm sorry for wasting your time"... bro WHATTTTT?? mind you he was the one who convinced me for this long distance relationship cause he really liked me lol. I never replied to that text but I'm so fucking sad bro I did not waste my time... I invested my time in you cause I wanted you in my fucking lifeeee bffr. I was expecting texts from him but it's been 2 weeks without contact... I cry everyday cause it was serious for me. I have even deactivated my instagram cause I always used to stalk him. Idk what changed In 4-5 days, I really liked him even planned to watch a movie on RAVE with him but 🥀... so the problem is I'm still holding onto this hope that he will come back and just like a loser I'll accept his apology... I'm so fucking attached. But a part of me also knows that he won't text back it was just a silly little game for him and I'm a dumbfuck who fell for it. I think about him every time it's driving me crazy. I have so much work to do but I've lost my appetite and don't feel like doing anything. I need to move tf on... it's so fucking embarrassing... can't believe commitment is embarrassing these days. I would have married him if he asked me to 😭... Khair🥀

Also after our breakup I stalked him on Insta and he follows so many girls there :)(just kill me atp)