u/Waryfaerie

I developed emetophobia as a child, maybe 12, when I got a strange illness that no doctor could figure out. I couldn’t eat a single bite of food and could barely get water down. I would chew food, spit it out, and cry because I loved to eat so much and just couldn’t.

This persisted for years, doctors telling my mother I was faking it for attention, and my mother telling them, “LOOK at her, she’s SICK” because I had lost so much weight. Eventually it went away, when I was about 18 or 19. I developed a fear of it happening again, and agoraphobia and thus could not eat anywhere outside of my home and had a hard time leaving the house. My throat closes up, I get that feeling, my heart races, and I have to spit out whatever I’m eating immediately for fear you-know-what will happen. It was only ever safe to eat at home.

Now it’s happening at home. There was a time I was HEALED, I could eat anywhere, just a few bites but still! I ballooned in weight at this time because I was so excited to be able to eat. Then it started again. Then I lost weight, and it went away. Then it started again. Now I can’t even finish food at home. My body physically rejects my attempts to eat. Even if I chew something too long to make sure there’s nothing I can choke or gag on, I start to panic and have to spit because I get that feeling again.

My friends think I have an ED. I explained I want to eat, but can’t, and they think it’s a subconscious thing. I’m so frustrated. I’m in tears right now trying to eat this stupid bowl of ramen that brought me to make this post.

Basically the title. My cat has just turned 4, he’s relatively healthy though slightly overweight according to vet. (We are working on that, my brother keeps free feeding him because he thinks if the bowl is empty the cat is starving to death.) Anyway, in the last few months he has started sleeping by his litter box. The box is tucked away by our downstairs bathroom, in front of a closet. He sleeps hidden under a shelf in the closet behind it.

1.) no changes in eating habits, we feed a mix of dry and wet to prevent crystals and he has a water fountain.
-We HAVE changed his dry food, but only recently, his new sleeping habit started before this change.

2.) he does not vocalize when using the litter box or use it more often than before.

3.) he is just as cuddly as he’s always been, same pattern of behavior there. Cuddlier in the winter, more distant and a loner in the summer. It is getting warmer and I have the hottest room in the apartment, so he is spending more time downstairs in general, where it’s cooler. Maybe he just thinks it’s nice and cool in there?

4.) I got a new partner 5 months ago who stays over often. Possible stress from change in routines? Though my cat adores my new partner (More than he loves me, to my dismay)

5.) He is very vocal, but this is not new. He cries to come into my room, leave my room, come into the shower with me, leave the bathroom when I take too long. He is incredibly clingy for the most part, only distancing himself in the hotter months.

6.) He is neutered and an only cat. Has a stray girlfriend that has started running into the apartment against our wishes. I do not like her coming in as I’m afraid of illness or fleas, but I physically am unable to stop her when she does it. She is too quick and small. She is in and out in less than five minutes, they rarely actually interact when not blocked by a screen door. They will sit at the back screen together napping near each other for hours. Perhaps he is lonely?

Am I being paranoid? Does he maybe just like that it’s dark, quiet, and cool in there and it has nothing to do with being near his litter box? He rarely sleeps in a box in my closet upstairs as well but not nearly as often