u/WeaknessPure4534

Basically, in about 2 weeks my brother has a wedding. I (17F) have bought my own shirt with my own money i earned from work, my mum personally doesn't like it though i have made sure with my brother that it is wedding appropriate. she has been saying "you can't wear that to the wedding" or "that's not wedding appropriate" even though i have asked the person getting married, and he has confirmed he doesn't mind if i wear it. i have made it clear to my parents that i will not be wearing a dress, i don't feel comfortable in a dress. My mum has now started saying "you're wearing a dress" or "you have to wear a dress. trousers aren't wedding appropriate". I have refused to wear a dress, so now she is saying "you're not coming" and "you're not allowed to go to the wedding then". i have told her "it's not your wedding, you don't get to uninvite people" and shes still saying "well i'm saying you're not coming". To get my brother's opinion on this, I've said "mum and dad are saying i'm not allowed to come to the wedding because i'm not wearing what they want me to wear. they are saying i can't go unless i wear a dress and i don't want to wear a dress." I've been told by my brother "you are 17 years old, you wear whatever you want to wear, be yourself. you don't have to wear a dress, i can't believe they're using our wedding against you like this. wear whatever you want, we want you there and that's coming from the groom".

Basically, in about 2 weeks my brother has a wedding. I have bought my own shirt, my mum personally doesn't like it though i have made sure with my brother that it is wedding appropriate. she has been saying "you can't wear that to the wedding" or "that's not wedding appropriate" even though i have asked the person getting married, and he has confirmed he doesn't mind if i wear it. i have made it clear to my parents that i will not be wearing a dress, i don't feel comfortable in a dress. My mum has now started saying "you're wearing a dress" or "you have to wear a dress. trousers aren't wedding appropriate". I have refused to wear a dress, so now she is saying "you're not coming" and "you're not allowed to go to the wedding then". i have told her "its not your wedding, you don't get to uninvite people" and shes still saying "well i'm saying you're not coming".

EDIT: i contacted my brother saying "mum and dad are saying i'm not allowed to come to the wedding because i'm not wearing what they want me to wear. they are saying i can't go unless i wear a dress and i don't want to wear a dress" and he responded with "{name} you are 17 years old okay you wear whatever you want to wear, you be yourself okay? You don't need to wear a dress and i can't believe they are using our wedding against you like this. You be yourself we want you there and you wear whatever the hell you want okay that's me the groom saying that. Don't be someone your not and don't wear anything you don't wanna wear. You're growing up, you're not a child anymore". I have told my mum hes fine with the clothes i picked out and she laughed at it?

Right now, I live at home with my parents and sister. Since i turned 16 (which in the UK is the legal age for consent, I've added this because it could be relevant?) my dad has started making jokes which to me seem very perverted / disgusting.

Examples are when id say to my mum that I'm about to get in the shower, he'd often say "ooh do you need help in the shower. you might need help" or he'd go "ooh we're going for a shower are we" while standing up as if he were to join me, then he'd act shocked or offended when i'd tell him that's disgusting. Other examples are when I mentioned meat products when i was hungry he started going "oh how about sausage? you like a bit of sausage~" in an obviously perverted tone, at that one i told my mum to tell him to stop making disgusting jokes because I was uncomfortable and she called me pathetic, saying he wasn't being dirty even though the tone he said it in was very much dirty. Also one "what if" scenario he seems to like saying, which to me seems very dodgy, are basically someone doing the certain crime where they do a certain thing without consent. he keeps using that as his what if situation, like what if someone _______s you? And he'd also said one time when a guy was walking down a footpath to me "look at him, he might r___ you".

Every time i ask him to stop he'd laugh and say "you're pathetic, i don't have to stop making jokes just because you don't like it". Even my mum calls me pathetic for it. she knows what hes doing is wrong as well because she says to me "whats going to happen if someone hears you talking like that? dad would get arrested and you'll get taken away" and she shouts at me like i'm in the wrong for being uncomfortable from it. I'd thought she'd be a bit sympathetic or would help me because she was in the same situation with her granddad and was also ignored by her own mum, but she still sticks up for my dad.

Right now, I live at home with my parents and sister. Since i turned 16 (which in the UK is the legal age for consent, I've added this because it could be relevant?) my dad has started making jokes which to me seem very perverted / disgusting. examples are when id say to my mum that I'm about to get in the shower, he'd often say "ooh do you need help in the shower. you might need help" or he'd go "ooh we're going for a shower are we" while standing up as if he were to join me, then he'd act shocked or offended when i'd tell him that's disgusting. Other examples are when I mentioned meat products when i was hungry he started going "oh how about sausage? you like a bit of sausage~" in an obviously perverted tone, at that one i told my mum to tell him to stop making disgusting jokes because I was uncomfortable and she called me pathetic, saying he wasn't being dirty even though the tone he said it in was very much dirty. Also one "what if" scenario he seems to like saying, which to me seems very dodgy, are basically someone doing the certain crime where they do a certain thing without consent. he keeps using that as his what if situation, like what if someone _______s you? And he'd also said one time when a guy was walking down a footpath to me "look at him, he might r___ you". every time i ask him to stop he'd laugh and say "your pathetic, i don't have to stop making jokes just because you don't like it". even my mum calls me pathetic for it. she knows what hes doing is wrong as well because she says to me "whats going to happen if someone hears you talking like that? dad would get arrested and you'll get taken away" and she shouts at me like i'm in the wrong for being uncomfortable from it. I'd thought she'd be a bit sympathetic or would help me because she was in the same situation with her granddad and was also ignored by her own mum, but she still sticks up for my dad.