u/Western-Scientist942

Am i a gooner? Or just an addict.

Now i am 18 years old turning 19 this September and i for two years or more give or take have been "Gooning" but not because i wanted to do so but because i couldn't help it, and yes i know that this probably relatively Normal with Hormonally overstimulated Teenagers.

And one would think with me turning 19 i shouldn't be even a teenager or atleast exciting the phase but i am a late bloomer what that means is i basically turned to an official teenager at the age of 14-15 and according to my home doctor it's pretty possible for me to still be a teenager till I am 20 or 21.

And yes i was offered a some sort of medication i forget the name, that would basically reduce the amount of hormones my body would produce to help with those urges.

What makes this worse is that i am a religious person i take my religion serious and although i am pretty good at avoiding to sin quote on quote "beating my meat" is one of my struggles and with society having Corn so normalized it makes it even harder even YouTube has been infested.

The longest i have ever lasted was a month and a half before falling back into sinning.

On average i last 5 days before i fall back and i refuse to take medication because i don't want to be dependent on medication to handle my urges i want to master my own body without medication.

You the reader is probably asking yourself "yeah well that's unfortunate i guess but what are we supposed to do?"

Well it's pretty easy i just want to know if i am a gooner or not because the definition of a gooner is someone who does it regularly but I don't do it regularly nor do i do it because i want to.

Yes i know i just answered my own question but maybe i am not the only one who struggles with this that's why i wanted to share this if anyone has methods, tips on how to handle such sinful addiction let me no... let everyone know who finds this post.

(I am not sure if this is important but in case it is i also have Adhd)

Male/18yr

Am i the only one because it sure feels like it i know comparison is the thief of joy but nowadays especially with the internet various social media platforms and so on with supposedly all this successful people which i know most of it is just staged for the camera but still it's hard to not compare yourself.

My point is my life is well it's not all bad nor not all good either and i feel like i could do a lot better but whenever i do try harder to achieve my goals it's as if fate just shoves a middle finger right at your face Instead of encouraging the improvement and well the past few months it really happened alot.

I train wrestling and also i learn russian since i immigrated there over two years ago and i do admit i have gotten better at my Russian speaking and also grew stronger at my wrestling practice i can't help but think it's not enough as i rely on my relatives for money a roof above my head and it makes me feel worthless because despite my efforts it seems like it's not accounting to anything that actually matters.

Because before i immigrated there i used to be in Austria my whole prior life i was born there aswell so learning the different culture and language is a challenge and it sure as hell Takes longer than two years to learn it.

I suppose my point is i feel as if i am dead weight and my relatives just drag me out of pity but before i came here or i still am i, i am willing to do work and i did so in Austria aswell so it's not that i am not willing to work it's just i can't work due to the language barrier and because of it i have the need to learn russian fast and quick despite knowing it takes long to learn and adjust to.

And it surely doesn't help seeing on my for you page how a guy who's 21 allegedly Atleast to have money, a girlfriend and seemingly lives in his prime Whiles me? I feel worthless and to be honest i am used to feeling worthless.

I suppose my question at the end of it is, am i the only who struggles this badly? Because i feel like every Zoomer just like myself is doomed and it's not necessarily Our fault either.