u/Western-Shelter2579

Ever since my infant son Logan passed in February, I have been really anxious about my parents or my older son’s health. I just left my mom’s 60th birthday and absolutely lost it because I convinced myself it was her last birthday. I keep thinking I have the same feeling I did with Logan when he was alive- like something bad is coming. I am seeing a therapist and started taking medication. I just can’t take anymore loss.

I am hurting. It’s been almost four months since we lost our baby boy. I am a shell of who I was and I don’t know how to fake it until I make it for my friends and family when I feel like the life has been sucked out of me and there is nothing left. I hate who I am without him I hate this life now and I am scared of what’s next and I feel like I am always waiting for the next bad thing now that I know how brutal and painful life can truly be. My hair is really thin from everything and I my upper body is bigger than it would be without that “mom muscle” you get. Just venting I guess or looking for some encouragement. Is there any light in this tunnel