u/WhatAbout42

I’m a little hesitant to post this, but I’m hoping people who actually live the pilot/spouse lifestyle might have some perspective I’m missing.

I’m the husband of a female airline pilot. We’ve been married for many years. I realize I’m probably the reverse of the usual husband-pilot/wife-at-home dynamic here, but I imagine a lot of the issues are similar. (I've read this group is open not just to women married to male pilots so I hope this is not against the rules.)

My wife is very social with the people she flies with and has a lot of male pilot friends. I don’t believe married people can never have opposite-sex friends, but I do think close opposite-sex friendships require appropriate boundaries, and I’m probably more cautious about that than some people.

I should also acknowledge a bias I bring to this. I’ve never been completely comfortable with how easily close relationships can develop in aviation. The job involves a lot of time away from spouses, overnights, hotels, meals and long days with coworkers, and relationships can become close very quickly. Being outside the industry myself, that environment has sometimes been difficult for me to understand and trust.

That said, she’s been flying for many years and I think I’ve generally handled that part of her career pretty well. I don’t question every male pilot she talks to. She has a few male work friends whom I know and am somewhat friends with myself.

But there is one particular friendship just feels different to me. I won't give specific examples in this first post but let's just say it feels like it’s drifting across that fuzzy line between a close coworker friendship and flirting. I do flat out think he is being inappropriate and testing her boundaries. I have yet to see her set any in return.

She has even deleted portions of their conversations. When we talked about the deleted messages, she initially said nothing had been deleted and then acknowledged it when she realized I already knew. (She claims she knew I would be missing the context behind it and would take it the wrong way.)

None of it proves an affair. I don't believe she’s physically cheating on me.. but I also know warning signs of something building when I see them. (or do I?)

She says she thinks of him almost like a little brother, and that she’s something of a mentor to him. She also acknowledged after we talked that some of their exchanges could reasonably be seen as inappropriate even though she says she never perceived them that way.

I don’t want to become that person who monitors their spouse's phone to try feel secure. I know there’s no end to that road—there’s always another app, another conversation at work, or something else I can’t see. That’s verification, not trust, and I don’t want our marriage to work that way.

I also want to own my side of this. I work from home, we’re fairly isolated geographically, and I don’t have much of a social circle of my own. I’m naturally pretty introverted and genuinely don’t want a huge group of friends to maintain, but my wife and her family have consequently become most of my social world. Meanwhile, she has this whole social/professional world that I’m (mostly) not part of. I’m sure that contributes to some insecurity on my side.

Our marriage also has some longstanding issues with affection and connection that we’re trying to work on. I think that’s part of why these friendships can hit me harder than they otherwise might.

I’d really like perspective from people who actually live this lifestyle.

Have any of you struggled with something similar? Where do you draw the line between normal close pilot (or aviation - FA etc) friendships and something that’s becoming too personal? Is this kind of friendship/texting fairly normal to you and something I need more perspective on?

And most importantly, for couples who have struggled with something similar, have you found anything that helped build trust?

I’m genuinely open to hearing that some of this is my own insecurity. I’m equally interested in hearing where other people think reasonable marital boundaries belong. Messaging works as well if you are like me and have a hard time opening up in public.

We’re both saying we want to strengthen our marriage. I’m trying to figure out how to do my part without either ignoring things that genuinely bother me or spending my life looking over my shoulder.

I saw another post about this but thought I'd update in case anyone else has this. I will provide details on how support handles it, the timing, etc.

I went to start a mow last Thursday and got a "slipping" error. I went down to see what was happening and saw the mower trying to go forward in the charger rather than backing up like it should. Then it started raising and lowering the deck which I thought might break the charger so I pulled it out and set it in a clear area. I tried to get it to mow again but it wouldn't move and gave me an antenna error (move a few feet and try again). I then tried the remote to drive it out into an even more clear area but the mower just lurched forward and stopped. Nothing with the remote would move it. After a few more attempts to return to mow or return to the charger I tried the remote again - this time pushing forward raised the deck wheels.

Pretty obvious at this point something is really wrong. Then I saw this status on the LCD.

https://preview.redd.it/guzq9123qu8h1.png?width=1304&format=png&auto=webp&s=165ff4422646f90b1d8216c7ef533192e89b8276

The manual says this is a comm error which seems to be the motherboard no longer communicating.

https://preview.redd.it/9ysna90tqu8h1.png?width=1422&format=png&auto=webp&s=3eb6a74a3c8a193e26fa92c238acd68882bf6f04

After trying the "unplug for hours" or "press power and home" with nothing working (the LCD comes on instantly after plugging the battery back in, but no sound and no boot up.), I knew I'd have to open a case.

I gathered up all the info I could, detailed what I'd experienced. I even took a video (had to split it into sections to be able to post it in the case notes).

Now I'm waiting for support to read it. My gut tells me they will ask for one missing piece of information that I'll then give then wait days/weeks for another reply as has been my experience with previous support requests.

It is an absolute sinking feeling that support is this bad/slow (for most, apparently there have been a lucky few). I get that things break, this is complicated machinery with a lot of opportunity for failure. If support had answered within 24 hours I might actually have a new mower on the way this week but instead I'm going to have to go back to manual mowing. Part of me thinks this might be an opportunity to talk to my credit card company and just get a refund but part of me has come to appreciate the mower (when its not overheating) despite its quirks.

UPDATE: after trying more buttons and more battery disconnects I heard a fan noise and it said "Let's get mowing" then abruptly died... and since then I have not been able to revive it. No LCD, no sound, nothing. Battery was at 99%.

UPDATE 2: support finally looked at my case 5 days later. They sent it to R&D for more info, then told me I'd get a replacement, then told me R&D says to power it up and get it on wifi to gather some info. (despite the entire case being about the fact that it won't boot up). I reminded them of this little hurdle to their plans then they said they can't ship a replacement until they get the unit back, despite my telling them I no longer have the box so I have no way to ship it (multiple times) AND that I know there are many who have given a deposit to get a replacement first (which is a big reason I got rid of the box in the first place).

It does take a full 24 hours to get a reply but at least they aren't making me wait multiple again (so far).

I let them know I applied for a complete credit and if they want this junk back they can send both a box and a return paid shipping label.

UPDATE 3: support finally offered to ship a replacement for the $600 deposit. Instead of immediately sending a link to make the transaction, they tell me they can send one but seem to want my permission despite me asking for this very thing multiple times already. This just further delays things. This is not a support group that is paid to think.

This is what I got back after submitting a case about the One Plus overheating:

Thank you for reaching out and for sharing your detailed observations. We have carefully reviewed the issue you described. To help resolve the issue, we suggest the following steps: Allow the mower to cool down – Stop the mower for 1–2 hours, then test it again on a small patch of grass. Mow during cooler parts of the day – Try operating the Lymow One Plus in the early morning or late evening when ambient temperatures are lower. Again, we sincerely apologize for the inconvenience and for our earlier silence. We are committed to making this right for you. Thank you for your patience and for being a Lymow customer.

First, I can't mow for a while in the morning for two reasons - first, it's soaking wet from dew. Second, our association won't let us mow before 8, and I consider that 9 to be a good neighbor. I probably have an hour or two before it reaches 80 degrees and I live in Minnesota. What do the rest of you do?

I have almost 2 acres to mow, and because of the terrible job it already does, I have to mow most of it twice to get it done. I can't accomplish this with a window of a couple hours in the morning and evening.. and even if I tried, what mode is that... "pause until afternoon heat is over then retry" - I wasn't aware that was a setting. No, it means I have to manually pause the job and manually re-start the job to even do what they are asking.

"work around our issue" is not an acceptable answer. This basically tells me they know about the problem and don't plan to fix it.

Right now the only way I can get my mower to continue is to literally drive it into my basement back door, unplug the battery, and let it cool in the AC for a few hours, then plug it back in and pull it out and resume (uncharged).

Has anyone else gotten a different answer for the One Plus (I think its slightly different for the One).

I was asked to do a comparison of token usage between Databricks and Azure AI Services. With Microsoft you get your list price (and discount price if you have an EA) and they break the costs into input, output, input cache, output cache, and sometimes many other SKUs. Databricks charges us what looks like a single price for a token.

We can find the input and output count, but the only place we've found any cached token counts is in the gateway system table system.ai_gateway.usage. (which accounts for only about 4% of our overall token volume)

Why do we need this? Without it, we're betting on 40B Claude Opus 4-6 (for example) being at full input and output costs. That artificially makes Azure look more expensive, and we have Azure often between 75-95% cached usage. Currently our model gives us a $2.16/1M token cost for Databricks, and its $5.20/1M for Azure marketplace. At around 70% cache usage, the table will turn to Azure being cheaper.

https://preview.redd.it/qx0t0xg15d1h1.png?width=1534&format=png&auto=webp&s=362fd144e41bb2170bc682d9f9441d1db5292606

I need to know at least the number count so I can get a percentage then do a fair comparison.

Databricks needs a parts catalog like Azure. It seems they bury it on purpose. That or I just haven't found the right place to look.

Thanks.

BTW: of course Microsoft isn't perfect either. Claude models are marketplace driven, not in the FOCUS cost table, so we have to look in two separate places for model pricing. At least its there.