u/Wholesome_SoupCan

I am a grad student in MA, but my “permanent residence” is in NJ at my parent’s address. My stipend has federal and MA tax withholding. I figure that I need to still pay NJ taxes, but how do I figure out how much? Do I get a credit so I’m not paying double? How do I do this?

Any help would be appreciated! Thank you!

Edit: some extra questions… when filling out the forms, if they ask for how long I have been in MA? I don’t know exactly how to answer. Like I’ve been living in MA the whole time. But would they make me file as a full time resident then? I’ve heard that (grad) students are an exception to this.

My (22F) boyfriend (28M) didn’t give me any emotional support last night and I’m not sure what to do.

We were being intimate with one another and he asked if he could film it. I asked why, he gave me an answer, and I said no. things continue fine and we finish, but I get in my head. I was r\*\*\*d a few months ago and filmed without my permission. I had asked the guy if he had deleted the videos, he said yes, but to this dayI have no proof that he actually did. so my boyfriend asking this, while having the knowledge of what spend to me, took me back and I got really in my head.

After we finished, I zoned out and got really quiet. He asked what he had done wrong, and I told him that it was asking to video the encounter. He apologized. I reassured him that he did nothing wrong. But that didn’t help with how I was feeling, so I continued to zone out as he laid next to me. He kept going on his phone and didn’t ask any questions or talk to me. I was visibly upset.

Eventually, he got up to get dressed, but then laid back down after realizing I was upset rather than leaving. It took me so long to work up the courage to tell him, or remind him, of what happened during my r\*\*\*. To which he said nothing, and immediately went on his phone again. I was shattered. I told him he could leave if he wanted to. Because I know he had things to do at home before work tomorrow morning. He asked if I would be fine with him going home. I said yes, even though I wasn’t.

I stood up to give him a hug and his arms were limp around me. I started crying. He asked again if I wanted him to stay. I asked for 5 more minutes. He went back to my bed, laid down casually, and waved me over impatiently. I laid down with him, expecting him to hold me, but the limp arms around me just made me feel so uncomfortable and disappointed in the lack of care he gave. So I sat there next to him, trying to hold back tears, and he sat silently. Eventually, he went back on his phone. And I gave up. I just sent him home and figured I’d deal with my emotions alone.

I’m sort of at a loss. There’s definitely more backstory. I definitely could have verbalized my needs more. And it took like 30 minutes for me to say what happened. And he definitely has a lot going on in his own mind. But he saw I was visibly upset. He asked once what he had done wrong. Then basically didn’t speak to me again for the rest of the night. There was no comforting hold, no words of support, no curiosity as to how I was feeling. I just felt so alone and disconnected from him. I don’t know what to do now. All I got was a “home” text from him that I didn’t respond to. How should I text him back? Why did he respond this way? But am I wrong for feeling that he mistreated me in this moment?

I feel like I’d been a poor partner all weekend, snapping at little things and being hyper critical when I didn’t need to be. He even googled, “why is everyone so critical of me” next to me while I was zoning out after being intimate. He didn’t say anything to me about it, but I saw him look it up. Was that a message for me? Maybe he was just tired and wanted to be alone?

Tl;dr my boyfriend didn’t provide me emotional support and wasn’t trying to “find me” amidst my overthinking. He just shut down and went on his phone. AITA for sending him home?

My (22F) boyfriend (28M) didn’t give me any emotional support tonight and I’m not sure what to do.

We were being intimate with one another and he asked if he could film it. I asked why, he gave me an answer, and I said no. things continue fine and we finish, but I get in my head. I was r***d a few months ago and filmed without my permission. I had asked him if he had deleted the videos, but to this day, I have no proof that he actually did. so my boyfriend, asking this, while having the knowledge of this happening, took me back and I got really in my head.

After we finished, I zoned out and got really quiet. He asked what he had done wrong, and I told him that it was asking to video the encounter. He apologized. I reassured him that he did nothing wrong. But that didn’t help with how I was feeling, so I continued to zone out as he laid next to me, but kept going on his phone and didn’t ask any questions or talk to me. I was visibly upset.

Eventually, he got up to get dressed, but then laid back down after realizing I was so upset rather than leaving. It took me so long to work up the courage to tell him, or remind him, of what happened during my r***. To which he said nothing, and immediately went on his phone again. I was shattered. I told him he could leave if he wanted to. Because I know he had things to do at home before work tomorrow morning. He asked if I would be fine with him going home. I said yes, even though I wasn’t.

I stood up to give him a hug and his arms were limp around me. I started crying. He asked again if I wanted him to stay. I asked for 5 more minutes. He went back to my bed, laid down casually, and waved me over impatiently. I laid down with him, expecting me to hold me, but the limp arms around me just made me feel so uncomfortable and disappointed in the lack of care he gave. So I sat there next to him, trying to hold back tears, and he sat silently there. Eventually, going back on his phone. And I gave up. I just sent him home and figured I’d deal with my emotions alone.

I’m sort of at a loss. There’s definitely more backstory. I definitely could have verbalized my needs more. And he definitely has a lot on his own mind. But am I wrong for feeling that he mistreated me in this moment? He saw I was visibly upset. He asked once what he had done wrong. Then basically didn’t speak to me again for the rest of the night. There was no comforting hold, no words of support, no curiosity as to how I was feeling. I just felt so alone and disconnected from him. I don’t know what to do now. All I got was a “home” text from him that I didn’t respond to.

Tl;dr my boyfriend didn’t provide me emotional support and wasn’t trying to “find me” amidst my overthinking. He just shut down and went on his phone.