u/Whoresbane_Umber

So my DOC is/was a very popular darknet offering that combined "odsmt and morphine analogues". They are strong and I've been on them about a year. In that year life has been great for my wife and I. We've become more financially flexible and have very little worries in life. As a result I've become fat on top of the habit. Exercise and these pills are NOT compatible. I want my life with my wife more than I want these drugs. Enter SR, from all I've read my best hope of beating this.

Over the last month I've steadily reduced my intake. Instead of blasting off whenever my drug addled brain told me to I first established the absolute max I took in a day and reduced my usage by half a pill every 5 days. Took a month and a half and several failed days of not sticking to my limit to work it down to 2 pills per day. Doesn't sound like much but if anyone has experience with these they are fucking hella strong. The withdrawal severe. I've spent many a day waiting on packages, sick as a dog.

Anywho, as soon as I was down to 2 pills per day I bought a mg scale and empty pill containers of Amazon as well as 2.5 grams of the SR. My wife was kind enough to create 100 pills of varying weight of SR. Equal amounts 20mg, 30mg, and 40mg.

Day1

I did a single day pre load of 40mg every 8 hours along with my final 2 doc pills and went to sleep. No worries. Nothing to report.

Day 2

No doc. The plan was SR every 8 hours, 100mg a pop. That went out the window fucking quick. The withdrawal came hard and fast and I took SR every 4 hours to beat it back. This straight knocked me out. I slept most of the day only waking to take more SR and choke down a carnation instant breakfast my wife made me drink. Also took a vitamin c supplement to help heal quicker. Then back to sleep

Day 3

Time is a flat circle. I am doing everything in my power to simply stop withdrawal. Eating tiny SR pills all day long. I'm scared. My SR will run out. Im not sticking to the plan. I'm in trouble. I lay down and try not to think of it. Then it breaks. I wake up. Feeling wide eyed and surprisingly fresh. I sit in the living room and the most beautiful woman on this planet greets me with a smile. "You're up! You look great!" I don't believe her. I shower and eat an instant breakfast. 2 hours later I'm back in bed.

Day 4

I feel pretty ok. More than pretty ok. I'm gassy and sleepy but I'm alert. No fogginess. For some reason my withdrawal symptoms like to creep up on me when I get out of bed and stand. Nausea. RLS. Dry heaves. The gangs all here and I get dejected. But they don't stay more than 5 minutes and I spend the whole day awake, alert, and talking with my wife. Feeling like the Ghost of someone I used to be. I stay up later than her and try and eat and drink. I sleep intermittently throughout the night.

Day 5

I can feel it now. I'm through the worst of it. My confidence swells. I'm taking SR way less. More than a third of the previous days. I'm just listening to my body now. The plan was fucked from go so whatever. Just keep going. Slight nausea when I get up but I spend the whole day happy and alert and I eat an English muffin, the most substantial meal of the whole week.

Day 6-8

I take no SR and I just chill. I'm fine. My wife tells me she's proud of me. I cry a bit bc my emotions are all over the place. I'm lucky. Alive. Through the worst of it and feeling pretty proud of myself. She helped me through it all. Each the others world entire. 25 years together and she's had my back every single day of it.

I typed all this out for catharsis. I thought I'd fail. But I didn't. I want you to know the only way past is through. You bought the ticket, you take the ride. Your doc will take it's due in sickness and mental anguish. It's what you signed up for. SR will numb that debt and give you a new chance to not fuck up. I also want you to know that it's ok to listen to your body and do what you need to to win this war. It's not a zero sum game. Win however you need to. Someone loves you. Do it for them and more importantly yourself. I'll update if anyone cares to hear it.