Van Union naar Brighton

Welcome to r/belgianfootball!

Hello people, I am Winok.

So, you've ended up here because of the World Cup, the Euros, Kevin De Bruyne compilations, Romelu Lukaku discourse, or because your Football Manager save somehow took you to Belgium.

And now you want to stay?

In that case...

Welcome to r/belgianfootball!

This guide will explain what this community is, why everyone is yelling about referees, why every club is apparently corrupt according to their rivals, how to find a team to support, and why half the jokes here make absolutely no sense unless you've watched Belgian football for several years.

Grab a beer (or a Jupiler if you want to blend in), and let's begin.

What is r/belgianfootball?

Excellent question.

For quite a while, this subreddit was basically abandoned. Think of one of those old stadiums that's somehow still standing, but whose loudest supporters are the pigeons.

Then u/frodo_max came along and somehow convinced people that discussing Belgian football on Reddit was actually a good idea.

And here we are.

Today we cover pretty much everything related to Belgian football, including:

• Belgian clubs (yes, all of them, even that one.)
• The Red Devils
• The Red Flames
• Belgian players abroad
• etc...

If it's Belgian and there's a football involved somewhere, it probably belongs here.

Is this subreddit serious?

...

Sometimes.

This subreddit exists in a permanent quantum state somewhere between:

• Serious football discussion
• Tactical analysis
• Statistics
• Transfer rumours
• Shitposting
• Making fun of Anderlecht
• Making fun of Club Brugge
• Making fun of Union
• Making fun of Standard
• Making fun of ourselves

Until observed, every post is simultaneously satire and genuine.

We love memes, inside jokes, VARhaeghe or literally anything and we love pretending one random 18-year-old from Westerlo is the future Ballon d'Or winner after completing three successful passes.

We also enjoy proper football discussion, however both happen in the very same thread, please do understand that irony levels can become dangerously high.

If someone says:

>"Belgian referees are doing an excellent job."

Check the comments before assuming they mean it.

So... how do I pick a club?

The boring answer:

>Whoever you want.

The romantic answer:

>"You don't choose the club. The club chooses you."

And I think the romantic answer makes more sense but that is just me.

Watch some matches, Read about the clubs, do whatever with them. Maybe your granny gave it to you.

Maybe you enjoy teams that somehow win despite looking like they collectively forgot football was invented or play the most shit football ever. some watched one random match ten years ago and now spend every weekend complaining about VAR.

That's football. Try to get a feel for what clubs you like, and it'll choose you.

But there are so many clubs...

Exactly, welcome to Belgium.

A country roughly the size of a postage stamp that somehow has enough professional football clubs to start diplomatic incidents every single weekend. And it has happened before, and IT WILL happen again, don't worry. There is plenty to choose from, from grassroots to somewhat good to absolute monsters of teams.

You'll figure it out, eventually.

Probably.

Can I just support the Red Devils?

Absolutely, not everyone here follows a Belgian club.

Many people are only interested in:

• The Red Devils
• The Red Flames
• Belgian players abroad
• International tournaments

That's perfectly fine.

Nobody is going to force you to choose between Cercle Brugge and STVV, I still wonder how these people are still alive despites not winning anything in a very, very long time.

Belgian Football Etiquette

It's very simple.

>Don't be a dick.

That's basically it.

This subreddit survives almost entirely on friendly banter, just don't make it personal.

There's a huge difference between:

>"Haha, your striker couldn't finish his dinner."

and

>Actually being toxic.

Most people here know the difference, just do not be a dick.

Belgian Referees

We have them, not much to say.

Belgian VAR

Nobody understands it, not even VAR.

Especially not VAR.

A Brief History of Belgian Football

Time for depression.

Belgium experienced what became known as The Golden Generation, featuring players like:

• Kevin De Bruyne
• Eden Hazard
• Thibaut Courtois
• Vincent Kompany
• Romelu Lukaku
• And many more.

We won absolutely nothing.

Our greatest achievement was finishing third at the 2018 FIFA World Cup after reaching the semi-finals.

Yeah, not great but we move on, that is what it means to be Belgian.

Club Football: Perfectly Normal and Definitely Not Controversial™

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

No.

Belgian football experienced one of the biggest corruption scandals in its history.

It became known as Operation Clean Hands (Operatie Propere Handen).

The investigation involved agents, clubs, transfers, financial fraud, money laundering, match manipulation, and enough legal paperwork to kill several forests. Fundamentally shook Belgian football. If you enjoy administrative chaos, it's worth reading about.

The Playoffs™

You're lucky to never experience this unless they changed the format again.

European Football

One of the few things that occasionally unites Belgian supporters, When Belgian clubs play in Europe, rival fans often find themselves reluctantly cheering them on.

Until domestic football returns, then it's back to calling each other frauds.

Things You'll Eventually Learn

• Every referee is terrible.
• Every VAR decision is wrong.
• Every transfer is either genius or the end of civilization.
• Every youth player is the next Kevin De Bruyne until proven otherwise.
• Every club believes the football association secretly hates them.
• Every season somehow becomes chaotic by October.

Final Words

Whether you're here because of the World Cup, because your country has a Belgian player, because you support a Belgian club, or because you accidentally clicked on this subreddit...

You're welcome here.

Have fun.

And remember:

>No matter what happens...
>
>It's probably Anderlecht's fault.

….We should still be incredibly proud of their quarterfinals qualification, anything else we get should be a bonus!

Of course the Red Devils are thirsty for more, but as fans, we should be proud!

LOS KAMPIOEN POR FAVOR

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More at https://sorryrudi.be/

Hi Reddit,

Throwaway because everyone involved is currently at the World Cup.

I (119M), a Swiss-based international governing body, recently got into an argument with my boyfriend (25M), who I'll call "Flo." For context, Flo accidentally stepped on someone at work. At the time, I told him this was unacceptable behavior and that he was grounded for one game.

He accepted this very maturely. He said things like "I have to accept the decision" and "we need to inspire children." Meanwhile, his entire family, coworkers, employer, several former employees, and the President of a large country all spent 72 hours calling me a clown.

Anyway, after spending three days explaining to literally everyone that the punishment was final, could not be appealed, and was definitely not changing under any circumstances, I suddenly decided to reverse it the day before he was scheduled to meet my ex.

For additional context, my ex (195 years old) and I have a complicated relationship. We dated for a long time in the early 20th century, and honestly things have never been the same since. Every time we meet, someone brings up 2014.

My ex was already preparing for our meeting and had built an entire emotional support system around the idea that Flo wouldn't be there. They spent days saying things like "we respect the process" and "we will prepare for the team in front of us."

Then I texted everyone on a Sunday morning saying, "Actually never mind, Flo's coming."

Now my ex is upset because I spent 72 hours insisting there was absolutely no mechanism for changing my mind, only to discover a secret Article 27 trap card hidden in the basement.

My American friends think I "did the right thing."

My Belgian friends have started posting historical maps and making passive-aggressive comments about administrative consistency.

My employee Chris says the team found out through Twitter while some people were playing Clash Royale on the bus.

My ex's friend Kevin keeps repeating, "This is the most Belgium thing that's ever happened to Belgium."

So Reddit, AITA?

I really don't like seeing these low effort slopposts, that is not a true los kampioen memer!

That is all that I have to say