r/BicyclingCirclejerk

Is the person with the highest ftp considered as alpha? Can the alpha mate with the mares and the bottoms of the group ride? Do people with lower ftp have to share their partner with the alpha? How does the alpha resolve crisis in the pact if he is challenged?

i’m all new to cycling and excited to learn more!

It’s not just him either, none of the Tour pros seem to have these! Maybe we can start a GoFundMe. They deserve better.

Firstly about me... Been in the Porsche Owner's Club since 1986 when I graduated in dental medicine. Those were great days to be named Chad... spearheading Oakleys and aéro bice fits while the rest of bicists wore blue jeans. Then Rickroll .. Hall & Oates... Robert Palmer... Cärbön was still experimental back in the days, so we superior dental professionals (not Boomer Surgeons with Mercedes... I'm Superior Gen X!!!) could enjoy flashing with triathlon bices that can't be found anywhere while on the beach segments. Pelotons were exclusive to REAL bice athletes and our gear was only advertised in Popular Mechanics and upscale fashion mags.

So now 40 years later things took a wrong turn. Recent developments in bice technologies have made it possible for the lowest of the low pours, Karens and the uncles, with their giganormous butts to go so fast that even our Colnags and Peenarellos sometimes aren't good enough to keep up with them! It's shameful for us to see ourselves diminished despite our constant high, efficient use of wattage, and these goblins are clogging the bice paths, so that we're condemned to use the roads in some segments.

It's time to talk about the matter, in a productive way. We know this is class war... so how to fight BACK? Soon it'll be Mamdani bicists taking over the place, so we must act NOW.