u/Winon_iscrying

I have a 10 year (possibly older) male cat, he’s not neutered and has a known heart murmur. He also has a skin condition. He’s always very affectionate and this morning he hopped on me when I called him and his purring sounded very weird. It wasn’t like this last night, and it has hiccups? Similar to the sound of a person hyperventilating. His chest is rising quickly and it almost sounds wet. Like a phlegm-y wheeze.

I had a crush on this guy, who we’ll call Afton, for a quite long time, and at the time I believed myself to be bisexual and him to be pansexual. Both of us are men, and we were actively figuring out our identities. We’d been close friends for at least a year prior, and actually went through 3 failed friend groups together. As we dated, we discovered a bit more, firstly that Afton is a demiboy, and gay. I discovered I am gay and polyamorous. I told him this, that I would definitely be okay dating more people, and originally told him I was pretty sure I could be happy dating just him though, as he wasn’t poly. We continued on for quite a long time, really a year as of the time writing this, with not a single fight or major road bump even once. All sunshine and rainbows. Until I got a small crush on a guy on my band, who we’ll call Rotisserie. Rotisserie is a year older than me, straight, has a girlfriend, I barely know him as well. Unfortunately what started out as a tiny crush got really, really bad. Like to the point I genuinely couldn’t stop thinking about this guy and asked my friends and stuff about him. I never planned on actually dating him, or going after him, in fact I found his personality annoying. But since Afton specified he was okay with crushes and because I tend to tell him every thought that goes through my head, I talked about him sometimes. Eventually, I know I went too far. Afton texted me and said it was making him uncomfortable and to stop talking to and about Rotisserie to my friends and to him, and to try and distance myself. I was pretty spooked by it, but assured him I’d immediately stop and apologized profusely. Thinking more on it, I’m beginning to think maybe I couldn’t be as happy dating just Afton as I thought. Of course this is no excuse, and I did stop talking about Rotisserie. Normally, if it was anyone else I would’ve just broken up with Afton, not because Afton did anything wrong, more because I just don’t want to force myself into some relationship I don’t want to be in. But I don’t have anyone else in my life who listens to me ramble and actually cares, and Afton’s the one and only person who seems to genuinely care what I have to say. I don’t think I’d be able to handle being without him, but I’m also starting to think I can’t healthily do this.