u/WisPursue

So, we have been married for a few years. My wife has a kid with her ex husband, they were married for a lot longer, and they talk in the phone throughout the week.

Thing is, its 90% not about the kid, he is not around and doesn't visit the kid, is not involved, and even missed their birthday party.

I told her how I was feeling about it a few times before, how uncomfortable it made me feel, like she was emotionally cheating, and she said that she just couldn't understand it, that to her it meant nothing and he was just a friend.

The guy was a terrible partner, cheated on her a lot, and made a comment once that made me feel like he was still interested in her, she showed me the text and laughed about it. She says that she is not interested and she just keeps the relationship with him for the kid, so they are not like strangers. She also said that she doesn't have many friends and that they have known each other for over a decade and its easy to talk to him because they are not a couple anymore.

Thing is, the guy is a cheater, even cheated on multiple partners he has had throughout the years and told her about it, she gives him "advice" and stuff.

I do believe that my wife loves me, but the fact that its so difficult for her to drop the relationship with such a terrible human being that adds no value to no one's life just feels like a red flag, like she is having him there in the back drawer to feel wanted by someone else, or for the attention, the things they shared before, the familiarity, or whatever the hell it is. However, it just feels like cheating to me.

Now, I don't quite think that she will ever drop this, and I have been thinking that my only option is either face 50 years of this shit, or divorce her.

I know that I have my issues and I can see things that are not there, if it wasn't for this I would've probably expressed more discomfort about this. This just doesn't feel appropiate, to have a relationship with someone of the opposite sex that was so close and so emotionally charged at one point, and that is definitely not a respectful and decent person, but the opposite, based on very disturbing things about his cheating endeavours she has told me before.

I'm not hating on her for this, I understand that she doesn't have many friends, but I also need to be honest with myself, and I can't do this long term.

I just want honest opinions, not extremes, no drama, just honest opinions about how this looks from the outside.

So, we have been married for a few years. My wife has a kid with her ex husband, they were married for a lot longer, and they talk in the phone throughout the week.

Thing is, its 90% not about the kid, he is not around and doesn't visit the kid, is not involved, and even missed their birthday party.

I told her how I was feeling about it a few times before, how uncomfortable it made me feel, like she was emotionally cheating, and she said that she just couldn't understand it, that to her it meant nothing and he was just a friend.

The guy was a terrible partner, cheated on her a lot, and made a comment once that made me feel like he was still interested in her, she showed me the text and laughed about it. She says that she is not interested and she just keeps the relationship with him for the kid, so they are not like strangers. She also said that she doesn't have many friends and that they have known each other for over a decade and its easy to talk to him because they are not a couple anymore.

Thing is, the guy is a cheater, even cheated on multiple partners he has had throughout the years and told her about it, she gives him "advice" and stuff.

I do believe that my wife loves me, but the fact that its so difficult for her to drop the relationship with such a terrible human being that adds no value to no one's life just feels like a red flag, like she is having him there in the back drawer to feel wanted by someone else, or for the attention, the things they shared before, the familiarity, or whatever the hell it is. However, it just feels like cheating to me.

Now, I don't quite think that she will ever drop this, and I have been thinking that my only option is either face 50 years of this shit, or divorce her.

I know that I have my issues and I can see things that are not there, if it wasn't for this I would've probably expressed more discomfort about this. This just doesn't feel appropiate, to have a relationship with someone of the opposite sex that was so close and so emotionally charged at one point, and that is definitely not a respectful and decent person, but the opposite, based on very disturbing things about his cheating endeavours she has told me before.

I'm not hating on her for this, I understand that she doesn't have many friends, but I also need to be honest with myself, and I can't do this long term.

I just want honest opinions, not extremes, no drama, just honest opinions about how this looks from the outside.