u/Wooden_Wonder8617

Unfortunately yes, the title is not clickbait. It’s insane, I know.

Essentially what occurred from my understanding is that my grandfather was cold contacted by citi bank. They claimed that a gun was purchased on his account that was used in a crime, and directed him to the FBI, who claimed that he needed to send his money over in order for it to be “verified” in some way. They contacted him over signal. (there is a post on this sub that correlates perfectly with what happened titled“PSA: FBI Scam going around”)

He was told to wire transfer all his money, and obviously hasn’t received it back. This all happened in June of this year. Me and my family just found out about this, and he has taken some steps. I know he has contacted local police, filled out a scam report for the FBI, and has blocked the scammer. I believe he has documented some receipts, though I’m unsure overall.

Is there anything else that can be done to help in some way?? We’re all at a bit of a loss as to what to do. We’ve floated the idea of hiring a private investigator, but, Is this something that a private investigator could help with? Any suggestions would really help.

I don’t know how common this is among people living with immigrant parents as a first gen Asian, and I’d love to hear if anyone has similar experiences, but genuinely, it’s so infuriating.

My dad constantly tries to control every single thing I do and tries to dictate my life into what he would want for himself. It’s like he wants to live through me, and wants me to learn from HIS mistakes, so he constantly tries to “advise” me when I never fucking ask? Then gets pressed when I tell him I don’t NEED advice that has nothing to do with the problems that I currently have. It’s my first time being alive too, I want to be my own person and make my own mistakes and learns from them, not be the shell that lives out your “if only I…?” or “what if I did…?”

Not only that, but he makes up these weird fucking problems he thinks I have, then he tries to solve them. For instance, for most of my life he told me I was “too egotistical” simply because as a child I could logically put things together quicker than others. I was already insecure and incredibly depressed growing up, so that really helped me out! (Sarcasm) I felt like I was being punished for being a smart kid, it really fucking sucked. Keep in mind I was never someone who talked back to my parents or got angry, I just listened and cried whenever they said something mean to me. Some fucking ego right!!!

And don’t even get me started on the way he attempts to “advise me” or solve my “problems.” Straight up, he just yells at me. First he’ll give me some shitty advice that doesn’t pertain to me, I obviously don’t follow it because if I did, I would be harming myself(and I TELL HIM how it does not help me because of so and so reason.) He sees this, then what does he do? Obviously he repeats it with far more anger. Calls me a moron, stupid, an idiot, brain dead, every name in the book. “Oh but I don’t mean it, I was just angry you weren’t following my advice” shut the fuck up you ABSOLUTE bitch. And I mean that.

Every now and then I’ll get through to him. I’ll see some side of him that’s understanding, far more reasonable, and he’ll listen to me. That’s almost the worst part, because I get grounded in the fact that he really IS just trying to help. But to him, calling me a moron is part of the process. I tell
him it hurts, that he needs to stop, and he’ll say he understands and that he can’t help it, it’s habit. “I’m too far gone, I can’t go to therapy” you’ve probably heard it before. I just wonder if you’ll do some real introspection after I lose my patience and cut you off for good. Whatever.