I need help with a response
I have blocked out identifying locations, but the short of it is this:
My in laws have a tendency to be very pushy, micro-managing, and steam roll to get their way. They are not what I would consider to be involved grandparents and see our 2 toddlers 1-2 times a month. They live 10 minutes from us. The rare time that they have babysat for us, has ended with them “not paying attention” aka being on their phones with one child getting injured with hot wax from a candle, our daughter as a 2 year old wandering off from my FIL and was found trying to grab a toy in an inflatable pool away from FIL view, and countless other incidents that have made my husband and i hesitant to leave our children with them.
I know that they have many friends who are grandparents and they see them doing fun activities like going to the pumpkin patch, and I know that this message is coming from a place of “keeping up with the Joneses” or as a way to show off to their friends. My MIL is very pushy with wanting to do things first with our children and she knows that we haven’t gone to a pumpkin patch yet. Also note that this message is not about doing a fun activity with ALL of us, it is just for MIL and FIL, my husband and I are not invited. Both texts are from 2 different group chats: one with my MIL and husband, the other with my MIL, FIL, and husband, sent about 12 hours apart. The farm is near their family cabin and this is the weekend of Canadian Thanksgiving - my family’s dinner is on the Sunday, his family’s is on the Monday.
My first reaction was “that’s a parent activity, not a grandparent-only activity”, but I don’t know how to word a response without sounding abrupt, or if I should just leave it for my husband to respond to (we feel the same way about his family’s pushiness and tendency to treat our children like show ponies). Any advice is appreciated 😬