u/Wrong-Pea1946

Is it weird that I'm liking the virgin's demos more than the actual album? I mean, I love virgin, but listening to the demos makes me feel closer to the music

Is it weird that I'm liking the virgin's demos more than the actual album? I mean, I love virgin, but listening to the demos makes me feel closer to the music

Writing this makes me feel like I'm trying to play the victim but I don't know where else to ask for help. I've been a porn addict since I was 13 years old, I'm 22 now and my life is a total mess. I'm scared. I'm scared cause I've done a lot of research and I know the causes of my addiction, I've read everything about porn addiction and addiction in general and I still can't get rid of it. I've tried so many times and I failed all of them. Today I saw a Ted Talk where a woman said that the cure to addiction is not sobriety but connection. That felt like truth for me. I don't have any meaningful connection to another human being in my life, my mom is dead, my dad is an alcoholic and we never really bonded. My relationship with my younger sisters it's not that strong so I don't feel like I could share my struggles with her. I started watching porn at such a young age that I've never learned the social skills required to make friends. Everybody sees me as this useless slacker. Sorry if I'm sounding too victimist but I'm deeply scared for my life. I'm from Angola. I'm the oldest son. I was supposed to be the one who is going to financially assist my family and I'm stuck in this stupid behavior. Just give me an insight of what you think I should do. I can't afford a therapist, but I really need help.