i have suffered with NSS (niche ship syndrome) for most of my life. i just cant seem to fall for the ships that come with an abundance of fanfiction. id be blessed to find crumbs of content for most of my ships.
why am i drawn to the most obscure, random, unacknowledged pairings lol? it definitely says something about me.
im aware of what happened to tumblr mid 2010s with everything changing the course of the site. i used it heavily from 2012-2014ish. i think i used it in 2015 too? when id search up specific tags, there would be LOADS of content to skim through. too much. now i feel like a lot of the tags are a little...dry? empty, mayhaps?
dont get me wrong im not saying its a derelict wasteland. i started using it again recently and im pleasantly surprised at the fact that people are still creating and posting content in my fav fandoms. but it feels very sparse compared to before. its like i can literally feel the lack of life and activity that was there when you would log on back in the day.
i have so much tumblr nostalgia as it was a big part of my teen years and genuinely shaped me as a person. me and my friends used it and it was just so different to other social media platforms at the time. is it that less people are using it? are people not tagging content the way they used to? did everyone really migrate to twitter/x? do i just need to spend more time on there?
pretty much dealt with this my whole life and i know its a shared sentiment among some others here as ive seen others allude to it from time to time: when you dont realize until much after the fact that someone/a cohort of people were putting you down, picking on you, bullying you, abusing you.
i am looking back on recent events in my life and genuinely feeling enraged. this sort of thing does hit me from time to time, and a lot of times i can shrug off certain instances as 'well at least im out of that environment now, and it was bad but i somewhat have closure as to why i felt so upset/isolated there all the time'
but some of the stuff that i went through at the hands of others in recent years is hitting me full force. situations where i did not realize i was literally being humiliated and severely ostracized/put down. i knew i felt like cr*p, and i knew these people were not being nice. but i did not realize the extent of what i was going through in the moment. this has happened nearly my whole life. i cant recognize a situation for what it is in the moment. its usually always too late.
i get no opportunity to defend myself because i dont know whats going on and im starting to have a sick feeling that the people doing it to me know that i have some reduced level of awareness. after all, they make nasty comments about my personality and behaviour, and use autism as a dig/insult (no i never disclose neurodivergence openly, so clearly i stick out like a sore thumb. i also mask heavily and try my best not to be obviously different in any way)
im just really upset and angry at the world. i feel horrible about everything. i literally hate what ive been through. i just ask myself why all the time.
To those who have had HALO RAR for hemorrhoids, later on the day of the surgery I am hit with a strong feeling there is poop there that needs to come out. Have been using prescribed meds and slowly introduced fibre to help move stool but it will not come out and I am not straining. Just sitting when sensation comes. I am 96% sure i do need to poop but cant, but also questioning whether its just a sensation mimicking the need to poop. Has anyone gone through this?
Trying to make a slightly informative post for a change, as most of mine seem to be rants :) Of course the initial clean of a bathroom will always take longer, but these are some little things I have done to improve my speed over time.
This has been the hugest help. When I get in, toilet bowl cleaner goes straight into the bowl to sit and limescale removal solution goes straight onto glass shower doors and any fixtures to sit and soak in. Then I move on while they work.
While everything's soaking, I do the mirrors and start the sink after. By the time the sink is half done done, it's usually time to wash the limescale solution in the shower so I do that. Then back to the sink/any cupboards to finish wiping and polish and do the surrounding counters.
After this, I head back to the shower and start with making sure the glass doors are fully cleaned and polished before cleaning the rest. This is because as you squeege and wipe products down, it will land in the tub/shower floor again so you wanna do that first - remember, top to bottom.
Then I do a polish of fixtures and can move onto the toilet last. Floor and skirting board comes at the very end of course.
If you don't have a duster, just use a dry microfibre cloth or piece of kitchen roll to shove and swoop all hair/dust off before addressing an area.
Hopping from place to place like this has helped with my timekeeping. When I first started, I'd forget to put cleaner in the toilet until I got to it or I'd do the sink first, then the shower after, and addressing things individualls took much more time.
Feel free to add any more tips!
Just a vent really. Most of my clients are lovely. But occasionally I do one time cleans for people who just want a clean occasionally.
It's usually no problem and once again, they tend to be nice. But the client I had today definitely had a bit of an attitude problem! Made me go over little bits multiple times (which made no difference to the state of said thing) and chose to critique everything. I did more than I usually would on a regular clean (compared to a deep clean) but I just thought the attitude they used was careless and silly.
I'm okay being asked to redo things or even being told that a client is not satisfied (which is why I always ask before I leave so things can be sorted then and there), but as cleaners/housekeepers I will just say that we appreciate if you tell us in a polite fashion e.g. "hey sorry, could you please get this bit you missed" or "hey, i'd really appreciate it if you could go over that thing". See?? It's so easy to ask politely and without attitude and rudeness!
If this was a new regular client I would have dropped them immediately after. Most confusing thing was after all that attitude, I asked if there was anything they wanted me to rectify and they were like no everything's good -_- and then proceeded to reiterate that they liked attention being paid to certain areas (once again, totally ok, but they were very rude and passive aggressive at first).
Rant over