u/ZanyChonk

I have previously written up my more-than-petty revenge on this landlord. After a series of nasty incidents from him, we moved out and every month after that my cousin and I went to his house late at night and smeared ripe dog shit on his car door handle, his house door handle, and under his wipers. You get it. But to me this is not petty.

What I had completely forgotten was that just as we moved out (and keep in mind this was a fully furnished flat) I nailed a very large lamb chop and a couple of chicken necks to the underneath of the dining table.

This revenge was suggested to me by a friend of mine who was a chippy (carpenter) and it was his and his dad's way of getting revenge on people who didn't pay their bills. They reckon the victims could never find the source as you would never look underneath the table for it. I assume the place went unrentable for the week or two that it would have taken for the stench to dissipate.

I'm so glad I remembered this and was able to share.

An old Australian farmer marries the beautiful twenty-year-old daughter of a neighbouring farmer. After a week or two of regular sex, the farmer, can't seem to make the young woman climax. There is no doctor in the nearby town so he goes to visit the veterinarian and explains the situation.

The vet thinks for a little while and then says, "While I am not a human doctor, when when farmers can't get their cows excited for the bull, it's usually on a very hot day like it is now. The farmer will wave a large blanket over the cow, which seems to get her into the mood."

The old farmer thinks for a while and decides to hire a young man from the town to wave the blanket while he makes love to his beautiful young wife.

The young man dutifully waves the blanket over the copulating couple but after about ten minutes she remains unimpressed.

Perturbed by now, the old farmer says to the young man, "Let's swap places and see what happens." The farmer then starts waving the blanket vigorously and soon his beautiful young wife begins to climax numerous times.

The old man drops the blanket and proudly yells: "That, my boy, is how you wave a fuckin' blanket."