u/Zealousideal_Job5019

Hey people, I hope I don’t upset anyone by this post. My intentions are genuine and I’m looking to meet new people who are in a similar position that I’m currently in

I’m in my early 30”s (cis het male) and I’ve been dating my girlfriend(mtf) for over a year now and she’s absolutely amazing and I hope this relationship continues to grow and prosper. I love her!

I wanted to see if there are any cis het guys out there who are married or in a relationship with a woman. Sometimes I feel it’s nice to talk to someone who understands where I’m coming from and what I’ve experienced first hand. Also I’m curious how many of you are out there that are kind of like me (best way I can phrase it at this time). I do my best to be an ally and maybe I can learn from other men on how they approach tricky relationship dynamics that we both might have encountered. I’m always open to making new friends

Please don’t hesitate to DM me!

Cheers!

Hey all, I originally posted this on another sub, but someone suggested it might be appropriate to post on this subreddit instead.... I was hoping I could get some advice on what to do here with this dilemma….

Just some background I am a straight cis male and my girlfriend is straight MTF. We have been together a little over a year. Shes absolutely amazing…. She is loving, caring, incredibly sweet and we both get along very well. Things are great between us except when it comes to her friends.

My family, friends, coworkers have all met my girlfriend at some point in time and everyone gets along very well. My acquaintances think she’s awesome and my girlfriend gets along with them very well too. But when it comes to myself and her friends it’s almost the exact opposite

My GF does do a lot of event organizing for her community which is something she had a passion for (or used to) so I always try to help out as much as possible to provide the same support and care she provides me. She has a lot of close friends within that community. Unfortunately her friends absolutely despise me. I have no idea what I might have done wrong besides existing. I have always treated them with kindness decency and respect.

To illustrate an example, after an event we all went out to dinner and it was about 10 of us. During the dinner I was verbally attacked and berated for having a “white male cisgender privilege” and was told many times that “nobody wants you here”, Along with being called a “chaser” ( I do know what chaser means and my gf is the first trans woman I have ever dated). I even had a drink “accidentally” spilled on me (it was clearly intentional). But that dinner was awful and I kept my cool and kept absolutely silent during all the attacks. I felt terrible since I feel my girlfriend was stuck in the middle of all of this and she tried her best to calm tensions every now and then. I even paid for the entire table and when that was known 3 of her friends decided to load up on more food and drinks since they thought it would be funny.

Overtime my girlfriend has started to distance herself from that scene and hasn’t really done any event planning, volunteer work, or hanging around anyone from that friend group. By keeping a distance must have really pissed off her friends since a few of them found my social media account and reached out to colleagues of mine to ask them if “they were aware I was dating a transgender woman, and if I ever told them I was”. Which I haven’t because I feel that is strictly up to my girlfriend to whom she wishes to disclose.

I am pretty thick skinned so I am able to brush it off and move on. My girlfriend on the other hand is having a more difficult time with all of this. As of late, she has distanced herself completely from all her friends, colleagues, and volunteer work partners. What is a little concerning is some of the stuff I have been hearing her say.

She has been saying a lot of negative things about the lgbtqia community, and trashing those in that community in the general sense. I also feel she has changed her political monicker when it comes to the human rights trans people should have. Part of me feels like she is falling into this right-wing rabbit hole and adopting bigoted views based on her past frustrations caused by the actions of her friends. Over the past few months I can tell she has really changed and has told me she is “fed up, and can’t stand trans people”. I do know she has done a lot of work when it comes to organizing events and I believe part of her feels betrayed.

This leaves me here thinking what on earth should I do??? I feel I have caused a giant mess and complicated things for her. She doesn’t seem like the same person I was with a few months ago. I feel that I should have never tried to help out or attend the events she was hosting since it caused way more harm than good. Sometimes I feel that me deciding to date her has caused all this turmoil and drama..

When I first met her she told me her friends were like family to her because her family still to this day refuses to accept her. Now I feel she doesn’t even have that anymore. I have been trying my best to provide the love and support I can give her, but I know I can only do so much. Part of me feels like I caused a lot of damage here somehow. I’m trying to navigate what is the best approach to take to make sure she does have a healthy social life like she once did along with making sure she has the love and support she needs.

Any advice would be appreciated here, this has been on my mind a lot and I want to know what exactly I can do on my part

Sorry for the long write, thank you all in advance and cheers!

Hey I really hope I’m not intruding here, if I am I apologize and will post elsewhere..but I was hoping I could get some advice on what to do here with this dilemma….

Just some background I am a straight cis male and my girlfriend is straight MTF. We have been together a little over a year. Shes absolutely amazing…. She is loving, caring, incredibly sweet and we both get along very well. Things are great between us except when it comes to her friends.

My family, friends, coworkers have all met my girlfriend at some point in time and everyone gets along very well. My acquaintances think she’s awesome and my girlfriend gets along with them very well too. But when it comes to myself and her friends it’s almost the exact opposite

My GF does do a lot of event organizing for her community which is something she had a passion for (or used to) so I always try to help out as much as possible to provide the same support and care she provides me. She has a lot of close friends within that community. Unfortunately her friends absolutely despise me. I have no idea what I might have done wrong besides existing. I have always treated them with kindness decency and respect.

To illustrate an example, after an event we all went out to dinner and it was about 10 of us. During the dinner I was verbally attacked and berated for having a “white male cisgender privilege” and was told many times that “nobody wants you here”, Along with being called a “chaser” ( I do know what chaser means and my gf is the first trans woman I have ever dated). I even had a drink “accidentally” spilled on me (it was clearly intentional). But that dinner was awful and I kept my cool and kept absolutely silent during all the attacks. I felt terrible since I feel my girlfriend was stuck in the middle of all of this and she tried her best to calm tensions every now and then. I even paid for the entire table and when that was known 3 of her friends decided to load up on more food and drinks since they thought it would be funny.

Overtime my girlfriend has started to distance herself from that scene and hasn’t really done any event planning, volunteer work, or hanging around anyone from that friend group. By keeping a distance must have really pissed off her friends since a few of them found my social media account and reached out to colleagues of mine to ask them if “they were aware I was dating a transgender woman, and if I ever told them I was”. Which I haven’t because I feel that is strictly up to my girlfriend to whom she wishes to disclose.

I am pretty thick skinned so I am able to brush it off and move on. My girlfriend on the other hand is having a more difficult time with all of this. As of late, she has distanced herself completely from all her friends, colleagues, and volunteer work partners. What is a little concerning is some of the stuff I have been hearing her say.

She has been saying a lot of negative things about the lgbtqia community, and trashing those in that community in the general sense. I also feel she has changed her political monicker when it comes to the human rights trans people should have. Part of me feels like she is falling into this right-wing rabbit hole and adopting bigoted views based on her past frustrations caused by the actions of her friends. Over the past few months I can tell she has really changed and has told me she is “fed up, and can’t stand trans people”. I do know she has done a lot of work when it comes to organizing events and I believe part of her feels betrayed.

This leaves me here thinking what on earth should I do??? I feel I have caused a giant mess and complicated things for her. She doesn’t seem like the same person I was with a few months ago. I feel that I should have never tried to help out or attend the events she was hosting since it caused way more harm than good. Sometimes I feel that me deciding to date her has caused all this turmoil and drama..

When I first met her she told me her friends were like family to her because her family still to this day refuses to accept her. Now I feel she doesn’t even have that anymore. I have been trying my best to provide the love and support I can give her, but I know I can only do so much. Part of me feels like I caused a lot of damage here somehow. I’m trying to navigate what is the best approach to take to make sure she does have a healthy social life like she once did along with making sure she has the love and support she needs.

Any advice would be appreciated here, this has been on my mind a lot and I want to know what exactly I can do on my part

Sorry for the long write, thank you all in advance and cheers!