u/Zestyclose-Abroad636

He’s had this toy since he was a kitten. I was a child when I got him so I innocently called it his “mother”. Once I got older o realized my mistake and decided either Ribbon had an oedipus complex or I had been mistaken. I’ve only ever touched the toy a handful of times and it’s mainly been when we’ve been moving. I hid it once to get a break from the nightly yowling but Ribbon looked depressed so he got it back.
Anyways, here’s to the happy couple.

My partner comes in and takes away the screaming babe
No success at latching still
They place my other baby next to me
My nipples hurt
My ideal dream of nursing with ease is shattered (for the third time, but I thrive in my delusions)
I hook everything up and start the pump
My back aches, I need to sit up straight more, I think this as I curl around my pump
“Oh that’s so hard/demanding/tough/enter-word-here” everyone says when I say we aren’t breastfeeding, we can’t, I’m pumping 7-8 times a day
It’s not their fault, the babies, it’s clearly a “me” issue as none of my three could
It was a rocky start with the first two
I thought my third had the hang of it
Then they weighed them again, and again, and “oh do you have a flatter surface? Maybe we can try the scale on that” and again
The milk was there, just barely a taste of it
No tongue tie, no issues with their mouth
I’m up all night
Power pumping, how to increase supply, foods to help milk production, how to make letdown occur faster, elastic nipples?, flange size, clogs, is this pump any good?, google it all
Avoiding Instagram
They make it look so easy
It’s my third time
It’s not easier
Rocking baby as they scream, I’ve only just started the pump, we still have 25min
It’s not aesthetically pleasing
It’s not talked about as being hard and demanding
But it can be, it is
I’m tired
The pump has become a surrogate baby, one that can drain me
I miss my own baby
I want to hold them and leave the pump behind
I’m too stubborn for my own good sometimes
Pumping isn’t what I had envisioned, but here we are (again)

My guy is just over two, this is his first summer being able to go in and out as he pleases and his fur has thinned out a great deal so he currently looks like he’s in a weird teenager phase. He got a bad mat on one side I had to basically shave off which hasn’t helped his overall “look”
We don’t live in a super warm area, highest temps don’t go above 70f/20-25c

Beau loves sitting like this, he’s my first Siberian so I’m still adjusting to the quirks of long fur. (Ignore the shave, he impaled himself a few weeks ago doing a dumb jump)
Also, how much bigger can I expect him to get? His dad was a monster of a cat 😅