u/Zestyclose-Leg5289

I was 7 years old when my teacher asked the class if anyone knew what a vegetarian was.

One kid raised his hand. Said Someone who does not eat meat

That sounded easy enough to understand.

Then the teacher explained that some people choose not to eat meat because of their beliefs.

That is when I got really confused.

I went home. Asked my mom very seriously:

Are we meat people?

My mom stared at me said What!!

I asked her again: Like are we the other religion?

My mom had no idea what I was talking about.

I spent the ten minutes explaining to her that apparently there were people who did not eat chicken. I was not sure which side our family was on.

My mom finally realized what I meant and started laughing.

I was offended because I thought this was a matter.

Looking back the funniest part is that I apparently thought eating rice and chicken was some kind of commitment, to the vegetarian religion or I guess, the non-vegetarian religion, which I called the Chicken Religion.

I got called for jury duty a weeks after I turned 18 years old.

I was really looking forward to it I thought it was going to be like what you see in the movies.

You know, people Shouting and lots of exciting things happening.

It was not like that at all.

I spent hours listening to two grown ups arguing about something that was so boring.

Even the ceiling looked like it wanted to leave.

Then the judge asked if everyone could hear him clearly.

I did not think I just said what was on my mind.

I said Mostly... I'm just struggling with the vocabulary.

The whole courtroom started laughing.

The judge looked at me like I had done something

For the rest of the day I was scared that I would get in trouble for making a joke by accident.

The case was settled before we even had to make a decision.

So my first time as a juror was just sitting quietly eating snacks and finding out that real court is not as exciting as TV.

Still... I would give it a 7 out of 10.

I would definitely go back, to people watch again the courtroom is a place to do that.

I was the person who knew how our inventory system actually worked. I built most of the automation for our inventory system myself. This was after years of cleaning up mistakes that other people made. It was not a job but it kept our business running without lots of problems.

My manager loved to take credit when things went well.. When something went wrong it was always my fault.

During a meeting I said we should make an update, to our inventory system. This would have prevented some mistakes.. My manager cut me off in front of everyone. He said "Stop acting like you're the only one who knows anything."

So I just stopped trying to help. I wrote down everything I knew sent my ideas to my manager and kept a copy for myself. Then I only did my job and did not try to fix extra problems.

A month later my manager did not listen to my ideas. He chose a way to do things instead.

It worked for two weeks. Then orders started to disappear. Customers got the things. We had to give lots of refunds.

The same manager who made fun of me now wanted me to work all weekend to fix the problems. I. Reminded him that I had already sent him the solution weeks before.

This time I worked hours and got paid for it. I followed all the company rules.. I let my manager explain to our bosses why he did not listen to my warning.

It turns out that the biggest mistake was not the inventory system that did not work. It was my manager thinking that I was not important.

For almost three years, I'd wave at the same guy every morning while taking out the trash.

He always waved back.

Never a conversation.

Just a quick little wave.

It became such a routine that I'd actually notice if I didn't see him.

One Saturday I was walking to the grocery store when I saw him up close for the first time.

So I smiled and said,

Hey! Nice to finally meet you.

He looked completely confused.

Turns out...

He wasn't my neighbor.

My actual neighbor had moved away months earlier.

The guy I'd been waving at was visiting his sister across the street every morning before work.

He said,

I just thought you were an incredibly friendly person.

So for three years we accidentally maintained a friendship that consisted entirely of waving from a distance.

We still wave.

We still don't know each other's names.

I thought that buying this lighthouse would finally give me some quiet time.

It gave me the strangest neighbor I have ever had.

Every morning at 6:03 a.m. A fresh loaf of warm bread would show up on my doorstep.

There was no note or anything.

No footprints in the sand.

No boat anywhere to be seen.

Just the bread.

For two weeks I told myself I was living with the spirit, in history.

I even started saying thank you every morning.

One day I hid behind some rocks before sunrise to catch the person who was doing this.

At 6:03...

A small fishing boat came quietly towards the shore.

An old man got out. Put the bread on my porch and started walking away.

I stopped him.

Why have you been leaving bread here? I asked.

He looked around nervously before whispering,

My wife still thinks this lighthouse is empty.

Okay? I said.

If she finds out someone bought it..

He spoke more quietly.

she will stop making bread.

Then he gave me two loaves.

Please do not tell her " he said.

It has been three years now.

His wife still thinks the lighthouse is empty.

Every Christmas I get a card addressed to...

Our Favorite Ghost.

It started three weeks ago.

Every night before bed...

I'd hear a quiet click outside my bedroom.

One morning, I checked.

There was a brand-new lock...

On the outside of my door.

I asked my dad why.

He smiled.

It's for your safety.

I laughed.

From what?

He didn't answer.

Last night...

I couldn't sleep.

Around 3:11 a.m....

I heard slow footsteps in the hallway.

They stopped outside my room.

Then...Something scratched gently at the door.

Not claws.

Not fingernails.

More like...

Someone trying to be let in.

A voice whispered,

Dad... please unlock it.

It sounded exactly like me.

I reached for the doorknob.

Before I could touch it...

My dad shouted from the other side,

Don't answer it! You're already in there!

The scratching stopped.

Then the voice laughed.

And quietly said...

He says that every night.

For an entire week...

I'd wake up in the middle of the night to hear someone whispering in the living room.

Not talking.

Whispering.

Then I'd hear...

Yes...

A long pause.

No...

Another pause.

Maybe...

It sounded exactly like someone negotiating with a ghost.

I asked my roommate about it the next morning.

He looked me dead in the eye and said,

I have no idea what you're talking about.

That answer somehow made it worse.

The next night...

The whispering came back.

Curiosity finally won.

I quietly opened my bedroom door and peeked into the living room.

There he was...

Sitting cross-legged on the floor...

Staring at absolutely nothing.

My heart almost stopped.

Then he slowly raised one finger and whispered,

Interesting...

I was convinced I'd discovered some weird midnight ritual.

I flicked on the lights.

He jumped so hard he nearly hit the ceiling.

What are you DOING? I asked.

He looked embarrassed.

Then he held up...

A laser pointer.

I blinked.

...What?

He pointed toward the couch.

Our orange cat was crouched behind a pillow like a tiny tiger.

Apparently, my roommate had created an elaborate game.

He'd move the laser dot around the room...

Then whisper fake commentary like he was narrating a nature documentary.

The majestic orange predator approaches...

Will he catch the mysterious red bug?

Nobody knows...

I burst out laughing.

He sighed.

I know it sounds ridiculous.

Before I could answer...

The cat launched six feet through the air...

Missed the dot completely...

Slid into the laundry basket...

And somehow got stuck wearing one of my hoodies.

My roommate looked at the cat...

Looked at me...

And in the most serious voice imaginable said,

Nature is beautiful.

Now every Friday night...

We dim the lights...

Turn on the laser pointer...

And narrate our cat's epic adventures like it's the biggest wildlife documentary on Earth.

Honestly...

I don't know who's having more fun anymore.

The cat...

Or the two grown adults providing live commentary.

Christmas my family got my grandma a smart speaker.

We said to her "You can ask it anything."

That was a mistake.

For the week she would say good morning to the smart speaker.

She would say thank you and have a day to the smart speaker.

She was talking to a thing.

One afternoon my grandma called me. She was really scared.

She said something was whispering in her kitchen.

I went to her house. I thought something was really wrong.

The smart speaker was just saying the weather forecast.

My grandma was pointing at the speaker with her eyes wide open.

She said it talks when nobody is there.

I explained to my grandma how the smart speaker works.

She laughed hard that she almost cried.

I thought that was the end of the problem.

The day my grandma invited her neighbors over for tea.

She said to them "Watch this I have a helper."

She asked the speaker, "Alexa, who is the prettiest lady on this street?"

The smart speaker said, "Sorry I do not know that one."

Everyone in the room started laughing.

My grandma said, "Well that is rude."

The neighbors kept asking the speaker silly questions.

One of them asked for the lottery numbers for the day.

Another one asked if her husband was eating snacks at midnight.

Every answer from the speaker made everyone laugh.

Now every Friday afternoon the neighbors go to my grandmas house for what they call "Question Time with Alexa."

They do not care if the answers are helpful or not.

They just want to see what my grandma will ask the speaker next.

I think the smart speaker has made people laugh more than it has helped them with the weather.

My grandma and her neighbors have a lot of fun with the speaker.

The smart speaker is like a game, to them.

They like to ask it questions and hear the answers.

My grandma is happy. That is all that matters.

Everyone said cleaning it out would take forever.

They weren't kidding.

There were dusty fishing rods,

coffee cans full of random screws,

three broken lawn chairs,

and enough extension cords to wire an entire neighborhood.

In the back corner, I found a rusty metal toolbox with a tiny padlock on it.

It took me an hour to get it open.

Inside wasn't money.

It wasn't jewelry.

It wasn't old family photos.

It was hundreds of folded pieces of paper.

Every single one had a date written across the top.

I thought maybe they were letters.

Or a journal.

Instead, they were bets.

My uncle had spent nearly 30 years secretly writing down every prediction he'd made during football games, family dinners, and holidays.

Most of them were spectacularly wrong.

"This barbecue won't burn."

It did.

"The dog won't jump in the pool."

He did.

Your aunt will only be in the store for five minutes.

She came back two hours later with a new lamp.

The very last note made me laugh the hardest.

If anyone ever opens this box, they'll finally admit I was organized.

The note was sitting loose because he'd forgotten to file it with the others.