I made website semi-recently and made a fan page for Em Beihold one afternoon loll
It was really fun making and styling it, but don't expect anything crazy XD
this is the link: https://dozendimed.nekoweb.org/Shrines/Em/Em
this is a link to the actual website https://dozendimed.nekoweb.org/
Let's meet the cast.
The Mother: 50something, probably depressed and emotionally withdrawn, while showing extreme conditional love and support. spends all day in her room on her phone.
The Father: basically a great father, but has to take on more hours, more stress, and all of the housework.
The Brother: 15 year old with a lot of friends. Has been good, but always falls a bit short. He wrote in his journal over and over again, unprompted 'I hate Alex'
Alex: Me, the star of the show. a high achieving freshman, with hobbies and a nice amount of friends. Has struggled extensively with mental health, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, but who caresssss? Masks problems with humor.
I would like to preface this with the fact that I've snapped a few times. I've shouted twice, slammed doors thrice, and said something to my mother along the lines of: you're the reason I act this way. (act what way? act depressed?), that I have since apologized profusely for.
ACT I: the normal day
so a normal day in the house is pretty bad, but normal. my mom spends the afternoon in her room, doomscrolling and sleeping, and occasionally emerges to critique whatever I'm doing. I try to study, but there isn't any good spot to do so (long story, involves control and authoritarianism). my brother may also insult me. that's it. my dad comes home late, and there isn't any sort of family dinner. I stay awake, reading, doomscrolling, and listening to music, until about midnight, when I get up, walk around the house, indulge in a dessert, and enjoy the peace. it's actually really nice, and best paired with music and/or a stroll in the backyard. then I go to bed. that's it, pretty much.
ACT II: the bad day
so a bad day starts out normal. usually my mom is way more hostile in the car, but that's it. then something happens to trigger her anger. once, it was because I was eating ice cream when I skipped breakfast because I was busy. she screams at me for like.. 20 minutes, shakes me, grabs my wrist, and says the worst stuff. I can't even. like, on this occasion, she said she would send me to a mental hospital.. while the rest of the family was on vacation.. for eating.. fucking ice cream... I swear she lives in her own world. invariably, a punishment, or varying punishments, or random punishments, follow. once it was my door being taken away (that was 6 months ago, I've asked for it back, and it's still gone). another it was my computer, unless I did a ridiculous amount of chores, while juggling finals and extracurriculars and depression. it always ends with gaslighting. most times, it ends with self harm and suicidality. how fun. and these mental health effects last for fucking weeks. and it's not like she's screaming and I can just roll my eyes. she scares me. she knows how to find that chink in my armor, and I internalize everything she says. then my dad, milquetoast as ever, does nothing.
NOTES:
I believe that my family is highly dysfunctional, and I take the role of the scapegoat (my brother doesn't get shouted at), golden child (3rd in my class, only for my parents to barely even fucking care), and mascot (trying to defuse with humor).
they also are incredibly restrictive. 2 hours of games, only on the weekends. this one is incredibly strict, and they keep lessening the time.
no shouting, or showing bad emotions. getting depressed and incredibly angry because of your brother? don't you fucking dare to slam that door. or talk in anything but a jovial tone or you're going to lose your phone for the next 6 weeks.
no computer in your room. incredibly rigid. this is where the door punishment comes from. I swear, they think I'm watching porn, even though I've proven I've only ever been doing homework.
no dating, whatsoever.
no sleepovers or going to friends houses, whatsoever
no wearing what she doesn't like, whatsoever.
and 10 million other things I don't know about, and I'll only find out when I break them.
and there's no room for dissent, or negotiation, or discussion. the library has become a haven for me after school, and I plan to compartmentalize and spend as much time out of the house as possible.
thank you all, ladies and gentlemen, for listening to my self-pitying tirade. like and subscribe, and I'll see you next time.
all jokes aside, what is this called? and does anyone have advice? sorry for the length and potential spelling errors. no refunds for your wasted time.
also, idk if it's clear, but they expect complete and utter perfection.
Let's meet the cast.
The Mother: 50something, probably depressed and emotionally withdrawn, while showing extreme conditional love and support. spends all day in her room on her phone.
The Father: basically a great father, but has to take on more hours, more stress, and all of the housework.
The Brother: 15 year old with a lot of friends. Has been good, but always falls a bit short. He wrote in his journal over and over again, unprompted 'I hate Alex'
Alex: Me, the star of the show. a high achieving freshman, with hobbies and a nice amount of friends. Has struggled extensively with mental health, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, but who caresssss? Masks problems with humor.
I would like to preface this with the fact that I've snapped a few times. I've shouted twice, slammed doors thrice, and said something to my mother along the lines of: you're the reason I act this way. (act what way? act depressed?), that I have since apologized profusely for.
ACT I: the normal day
so a normal day in the house is pretty bad, but normal. my mom spends the afternoon in her room, doomscrolling and sleeping, and occasionally emerges to critique whatever I'm doing. I try to study, but there isn't any good spot to do so (long story, involves control and authoritarianism). my brother may also insult me. that's it. my dad comes home late, and there isn't any sort of family dinner. I stay awake, reading, doomscrolling, and listening to music, until about midnight, when I get up, walk around the house, indulge in a dessert, and enjoy the peace. it's actually really nice, and best paired with music and/or a stroll in the backyard. then I go to bed. that's it, pretty much.
ACT II: the bad day
so a bad day starts out normal. usually my mom is way more hostile in the car, but that's it. then something happens to trigger her anger. once, it was because I was eating ice cream when I skipped breakfast because I was busy. she screams at me for like.. 20 minutes, shakes me, grabs my wrist, and says the worst stuff. I can't even. like, on this occasion, she said she would send me to a mental hospital.. while the rest of the family was on vacation.. for eating.. fucking ice cream... I swear she lives in her own world. invariably, a punishment, or varying punishments, or random punishments, follow. once it was my door being taken away (that was 6 months ago, I've asked for it back, and it's still gone). another it was my computer, unless I did a ridiculous amount of chores, while juggling finals and extracurriculars and depression. it always ends with gaslighting. most times, it ends with self harm and suicidality. how fun. and these mental health effects last for fucking weeks. and it's not like she's screaming and I can just roll my eyes. she scares me. she knows how to find that chink in my armor, and I internalize everything she says. then my dad, milquetoast as ever, does nothing.
NOTES:
I believe that my family is highly dysfunctional, and I take the role of the scapegoat (my brother doesn't get shouted at), golden child (3rd in my class, only for my parents to barely even fucking care), and mascot (trying to defuse with humor).
they also are incredibly restrictive. 2 hours of games, only on the weekends. this one is incredibly strict, and they keep lessening the time.
no shouting, or showing bad emotions. getting depressed and incredibly angry because of your brother? don't you fucking dare to slam that door. or talk in anything but a jovial tone or you're going to lose your phone for the next 6 weeks.
no computer in your room. incredibly rigid. this is where the door punishment comes from. I swear, they think I'm watching porn, even though I've proven I've only ever been doing homework.
no dating, whatsoever.
no sleepovers or going to friends houses, whatsoever
no wearing what she doesn't like, whatsoever.
and 10 million other things I don't know about, and I'll only find out when I break them.
and there's no room for dissent, or negotiation, or discussion. the library has become a haven for me after school, and I plan to compartmentalize and spend as much time out of the house as possible.
thank you all, ladies and gentlemen, for listening to my self-pitying tirade. like and subscribe, and I'll see you next time.
all jokes aside, what is this called? and does anyone have advice? sorry for the length and potential spelling errors. no refunds for your wasted time.
also, idk if it's clear, but they expect complete and utter perfection.