u/_-_-_-_-Rain-_-_-_-_

I’ve just accepted I’m broken and fucked up and there’s nothing anybody can do to fix me. in the past few months, the longest I’ve been clean is 2 days

around a month ago, i had joined a discord server that was advertised as a support for people who sh and have a eating disorder. he seemed nice before beginning to ask to see my cuts. he did this to two other people and groomed us into cutting for him and/or showing him our cuts. when we realized and turned on him, he laughed and insulted us and then threatened to post the pics on his twitter and YouTube. my parents found out bc my dad went thru my phone and saw I had vented about it on my tumblr. I convinced them the groomer was from tumblr bc I lied but my dad banned me from twitter and discord and threatened to delete my tumblr and after I cried about it bc my tumblr is my happy place where I post my art, he decided to just take control of my google account and everything that is connected to it. he doesn’t know I have a secret vent tumblr now and I’m slowly healing, but my dad now controls everything and my parents are threatening that if they find anything in my room that I can possibly hurt myself with, I will be banned from using any apps I can possibly message people on. and they like to bring it up. they’ve tried to grab me and corner me and force me to show them my thighs which I have scars on, and when I don’t want them to im hit with “you showed it to random people on the internet but can’t show us?” or “then why are you taking pictures of ur cuts and sending it to people” and they use it against me whenever they try to talk to me about sh now. I hate it I can’t stand it the more they bring it up, the more I wanna go back to my groomer and the more I want to cut. I still am subbed to his yt bc I can’t bring myself to unsubscribe. he has 2k yt subs so nobody believes me or the others he groomed. his server is still up. he still posts on yt. and he’s probably continuing to groom people. and there’s nothing I can do about it. and my parents are using this grooming as a excuse to control me even more and as leverage in arguments. I can’t take it anymore