u/_Lazy_y

I’m honestly really confused about my situation and could use some outside perspective.

I’ve been with my girlfriend for about two years. For most of our relationship, we’ve been happy together. We love each other, we have a lot of good memories, and I genuinely care about her.

But on November 17, 2025, I realized that I had developed a crush on another girl, who I’ll call Lara for privacy.
Things have become especially difficult around Carnival season. My girlfriend gets very jealous, and we often end up arguing. Usually, after a few days, we make up and forgive each other.

However, after a while, the situation started going the other way too. My girlfriend began doing things that seemed intentionally designed to make me jealous. For example, she would post stories with other guys or send me snaps from a school trip where other boys were in them, including videos of them hitting a boxing machine. I felt like some of these things were specifically meant to get a reaction out of me.

I know jealousy isn’t healthy, and I also know I’m not completely innocent here. I developed feelings for Lara while I was still in my relationship, and I don’t want to pretend that doesn’t matter.

The complicated part is that Lara and I actually get along really well. We’re very nice to each other, we spend time together, and I feel like there are moments where she might like me too. But there are also moments where I don’t get that impression at all, so I genuinely have no idea whether she sees me as more than a friend.

We also train together at a dance club, so I see her regularly. Recently, she even noticed that I’ve gotten stronger from training at home, which honestly made me really happy.

Now I feel stuck between two things:
I still love my girlfriend and don’t want to throw away two years of our relationship.

At the same time, I have genuine feelings for Lara and I enjoy being around her.

My current relationship has also become increasingly affected by jealousy and attempts to make each other jealous.

I don’t even know whether Lara actually has feelings for me, so I don’t want to make a huge decision based on assumptions.

I’m not looking for people to simply tell me “choose Lara” or “stay with your girlfriend.” I want an honest outside perspective.

What would you do in my situation?

Would you focus on fixing the relationship I already have and try to let the crush go? Or is developing serious feelings for someone else a sign that something in my current relationship is already wrong?

I know I need to take responsibility for my own part in this too, so please be honest with me.

I’m honestly really confused about my situation and could use some outside perspective.

I’ve been with my girlfriend for about two years. For most of our relationship, we’ve been happy together. We love each other, we have a lot of good memories, and I genuinely care about her.

But on November 17, 2025, I realized that I had developed a crush on another girl, who I’ll call Lara for privacy.

Things have become especially difficult around Carnival season. My girlfriend gets very jealous, and we often end up arguing. Usually, after a few days, we make up and forgive each other.

However, after a while, the situation started going the other way too. My girlfriend began doing things that seemed intentionally designed to make me jealous. For example, she would post stories with other guys or send me snaps from a school trip where other boys were in them, including videos of them hitting a boxing machine. I felt like some of these things were specifically meant to get a reaction out of me.

I know jealousy isn’t healthy, and I also know I’m not completely innocent here. I developed feelings for Lara while I was still in my relationship, and I don’t want to pretend that doesn’t matter.

The complicated part is that Lara and I actually get along really well. We’re very nice to each other, we spend time together, and I feel like there are moments where she might like me too. But there are also moments where I don’t get that impression at all, so I genuinely have no idea whether she sees me as more than a friend.

We also train together at a dance club, so I see her regularly. Recently, she even noticed that I’ve gotten stronger from training at home, which honestly made me really happy.

Now I feel stuck between two things:

I still love my girlfriend and don’t want to throw away two years of our relationship.

At the same time, I have genuine feelings for Lara and I enjoy being around her.

My current relationship has also become increasingly affected by jealousy and attempts to make each other jealous.

I don’t even know whether Lara actually has feelings for me, so I don’t want to make a huge decision based on assumptions.

I’m not looking for people to simply tell me “choose Lara” or “stay with your girlfriend.” I want an honest outside perspective.

What would you do in my situation?
Would you focus on fixing the relationship I already have and try to let the crush go? Or is developing serious feelings for someone else a sign that something in my current relationship is already wrong?

I know I need to take responsibility for my own part in this too, so please be honest with me.