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Listening to Jeff Satur’s “Rain Wedding” as the movie ended was exactly what I needed to hear.

Outside, the sky was a canvas of oscillating greys, bright blues, and yellows. So much like human emotions.

I knew the premise of the movie and still went in, inviting the hurt, proved to myself that my heart is still soft enough to empathise with each character in the movie, despite everything I had gone through myself.

The performances from Jeff, Keng, and the rest of the cast were haunting because they were rooted in such a grounded truth–everyone is the bad guy in someone else’s book.

Thongkham just wanted his love for Sek to be validated.

Mo felt she earned a right to be compensated for every hardship Sek put her through.

Nang Saeng saw the orchard as a testament to her own resilience through the years.

The movie is heartbreaking because Jingna, who loved the best and tried to protect everyone, was the one met with such tragedy.

I keep telling myself I deserved a “better” or happier watch today since it’s my birthday, but I think I’m wrong. This movie forced me to reflect on so many different corners of life.

Maybe, despite the sinking feeling and the frustration and the sadness, this was exactly what I was supposed to watch today.