▲ 15 r/witchcraft
My familiar farewell ritual
Arthur’s ashes came home yesterday. We communed with him, bid him farewell, invited him to stay or return whenever he wants, and interred his ashes in their forever home.
My practice thus far has been more focused on incorporating small habits into my daily life (salt over the shoulder when seasoning, simmer pots, blowing cinnamon and sea salt over my threshold on the first of the month, etc). Gathering and performing a formal ritual like this was very new to me and I was surprised at how deeply emotional it was.
It's remarkable how powerful simply speaking out loud can be—when I was compiling the ritual and writing out the words and actions I was worried it was going to feel silly…far from it in practice. This morning I woke up with a deep sense of peace and closure, and Arthur was definitely with me in my dreams last night.
I developed this ritual through research and combining things that resonated with me from posts on this sub, books, and blogs folks have shared online. Happy to share those sources if people are curious.
===
Familiar farewell
Materials:
- rose quartz for love & friendship
- obsidian for scrying & protection
- amethyst for healing & connection with spirits
- pink candle for love & friendship
- purple candle for contacting spirits (I used birthday candles and had several on hand so I could replenish them through the ritual)
- rosemary for cleansing, memory, and fidelity
- rose petals unending love (both rose/rosemary were dried)
- hair from your head (you can retrieve this during the ceremony) for what you send with them
- 2 coins (optional, I forgot them, I may add them later) to pay the ferry toll
- favorite treats
- churu
- temptations
- Photos, toys (you can gather them beforehand or just know where they are)
- Fire proof bowl (we used his food bowl)
- Scissors (for the hair)
- Tissues (for the tears)
- If interring:
- your familiar’s ashes
- your chosen urn
Preparation:
- Figure out where you want to perform the ritual. It should ideally be somewhere they spent a lot of time/enjoyed. You’ll also be setting up an altar and burning a candle, so balance those two criteria
- Compile a playlist that will play during the ritual (optional, but it did seem to channel the energy. happy to share mine if someone wants a starting point)
- Wait til dusk or dark to start the ritual itself
- Set up your altar: mine was the kitchen table where he had his afternoon naps. I laid out a blanket he really liked and gathered all of the materials we would be using for the ritual
- Cleanse your space: de-clutter if necessary, burn incense, ring a bell three times, clap three times
Ritual
- Set up your candles in the bowl (I was using birthday candles so I melted a bit of the bottom and stood them up in the bowl while the wax was wet). As you do this, think about your familiar and state the purpose of each candle
- Add the rosemary, rose petals, and dry treats to the bowl, again stating the purpose of each component (churu was kept next to the bowl but still acknowledged)
- Clip hair from your head with the scissors, add it to the bowl, stating its purpose
- Light the candles and say: "You who have passed through heaven's gate, you who I/we mourn, receive this offering. I/we love and honor (pet’s name) and today you are with me/us once again.”
- Start the playlist (I did mine on shuffle, the universe seemed to pick a good order)
- Visit your familiar’s favorite places—in your current home, previous homes, places you visited that they liked. This can be physically going to the space or visiting it mentally. As you revisit these places, fill your mind with memories of your familiar. Imagine them as they were and the good times you shared together. If you do this ritual with someone else, talk about your familiar, narrate what you’re feeling and seeing in your mind. You may also feel moved to talk directly to the passed familiar. Allow emotions to rise and give yourself space to express them. As you are on this journey, collect items that remind you of them. This could be their trinkets or toys, favorite treats, their cherished objects, or items that hold their memory. Bring them with you to the altar. Let this process take as long as you need. This is the meat of the ritual.
- If candles burn out or very low, take a moment to replenish them and continue
- When you're ready, gather your photos, trinkets, and cherished objects you collected at the altar. Say “I/we love and honor (pet’s name), and today I/we build a monument to your memory.”
- Arrange your photos, trinkets, and the cherished objects you collected on your altar. As you arrange your altar, talk about the meaning of those objects, memories that surface.
- If you are not interring ashes, this is also a good time to activate the crystals: Hold each one in your hand, think about your familiar, pour your love and memory into them, and state the purpose of the crystal. Place them on the altar
- If you keep a Book of Death and Discovery, this is a good time to record memories of your departed companion, including those that rose on your journey today
- If you are interring ashes:
- Address the ashes and say: “I/we commit (pet’s name) to rest with love. May you find peace.”
- With love, move the ashes from their temporary vessel to their permanent home
- Activate and place the crystals: For each one: Hold it in your hand, think about your familiar, pour your love and memory of them into it, state the purpose of the crystal, and place it in the urn
- On my journey I felt moved to cut a bit of the shirt Arthur always laid on in my office, that went in the urn as well, with a word on its purpose
- Once you are finished, observe your altar once more, experiencing all the memories and emotions that rise within you
- In the moment it felt right to document it, so I took a couple of photos
- When you are ready, finish the ceremony by saying: “Thank you for your companionship. You are dearly loved and dearly missed. You are always welcome, but not obligated to stay. Farewell friend, I/we love you.”
- Either snuff the candle (do not blow it out) or allow it to burn down as you sit with the altar and your familiar
- You can leave the altar up for a while or tear it down, whatever feels right
- If you performed this ritual with someone, I encourage you to embrace and thank them for going on this journey with you
- To dispose of the offering:
- We fed the treats and churu to our surviving familiar
- Scatter the remaining offering into a body of moving water (a flushed toilet for me…I live in the city, didn't have many options at the moment) or bury it in a secluded place
- Foster some joy! We had a sweet treat and watched a happy show, mourning has it's place in grieving, but so does happiness
If you've gotten this far, thanks for reading! If you try this ritual, I'd be very eager to hear about your experience. Give your familiars a scritch for me <3
u/__spice — 3 hours ago