u/_fairywren

My husband and I have just started providing respite care, and don't have kids of our own, which means that overnight we started having kids in the house on the weekends.

My cat has been expressing her displeasure by peeing on our bed in the mornings.

Has anyone gone through this? What helped - pheromones? We'd rather not lock her out of the bedroom, she's just trying to communicate that she's unsettled. Did your pet get used to kids?

The two kids we're looking after (separately) are both respectful of her space and don't chase or try to pat her, and largely the household is peaceful, until our morning kitty snuggles turn to groans and sheet stripping and enzyme spraying...

Not technically a foster question, but I brought it here because I assume a 5yo stranger is different to a baby from the cat's perspective - most 5yos have known the cat for 5 years by that point, y'know?

We looked after a second little girl yesterday, just for the day in order to get to know her before a first sleepover next week.

She is really sweet and we had a beautiful day with her.

Given we both work full time, and given family caring responsibilities, that's probably us done in terms of meeting new kids - I think that we'll continue to care for and build bonds with these two over time, maybe with the odd one-off but I don't think we can offer meaningful ongoing/routine respite to a third child with only weekends realistically available.

I am so happy we made it here. It feels right and I hope we are able to both offer genuine relief to their families while also expanding their network of safe and loving adults to trust and call on when needed.

I just got On Friendship by Andrew O'Hagan, more of an essay than a book. Also listening to Ghost Cities for work book club, so far it's very weird.

My husband and I were approved in January as respite carers. We are a pretty involved aunt and uncle to my sister's kids, but have never had a child in our house for more than one night, until now.

A few weeks ago we looked after a 5yo girl for a night. She is the coolest and we love hanging out with her, though we were absolutely shattered after 24 hours and were basically comatose after we dropped her home!

We had planned to look after her again this coming weekend, but got a call on Monday saying that her carer was having a family emergency and would we be able to look after her all week. She was so excited to spend "six sleeps!" with us, "because I know you already", which was tender since we have really only met her once (plus a coffee date with her carer during which we were roundly ignored, haha).

She's a happy kid - playful, cheeky, funny, creative, affectionate, and a great negotiator who is very cool with a compromise. Our house looks like a bomb hit it and last night I ate half a frozen pizza for dinner instead of cooking and none of my systems are system-ing and my order is not orderly, but she is clean, fed, watered and dressed and honestly, I love having her here and so does my husband.

The agency has been great - she lives nearly an hour from us and they've been able to organise all the school pick ups and drop offs.

We have respite lined up for another child in a month's time and I'm aware that she'll be completely different, but I had anxiety that I'd go through all of that training only to meet one kid and think "what have I done?" and it's a huge relief that this feels so right.