u/_random_rando_

Howdy! I’m an engineer who has been in the industry coming up on a decade now. I’ve jumped around a lot partially because that was the best way to guarantee consistent pay bumps and partially because I’ve had some terrible luck with managers. From those that actively ignored coworkers literally yelling at me while pair programming, to the 25 year old that told me I had too much empathy and it was holding me back (because I got a little too vocal in advocating for qa).

A lot of the mismanagement has come from my being neurodivergent and not knowing how to motivate myself properly, managers didn’t really know how to either so eventually it would turn to brow beating, micromanagement, then PIP.

This pattern has played out numerous times without the motivation piece, it’s incredibly difficult to break. I never worked at a FAANG (or whatever the kids hype these days) but, was consistently just below that level. I have the capacity for excellent engineering work, I just do it in short bursts and need rest in between.

After a string of negative experiences (at or above $200k/yr salary) I’ve settled at a company based in my hometown that pays about half that. I’m still very comfortable and the pace is much better for me. My resting pace seems to be matched to their baseline expectation of me and I’m getting lots of positive feedback on my contributions.

Now for the actual issue- I am so incredibly anxious. I’m working on it in therapy (especially the motivation piece) but, I’m still so anxious in interactions with my manager and tech lead. I’m constantly evaluating my own performance and picking up on every comment, especially anything that hints at being slow (because that’s how it has started in the past).

I know that I certainly own a lot of the blame for ending up in this position but, this new(ish) job feels like such a good fit. People are so kind and generous with compliments, the pace is so manageable and they’re far more cautious with AI and slower to adopt which is a HUGE plus for me. My brain knows this is a great fit and that I’m safe here but, my nervous system doesn’t.

Any advice for getting over and through workplace trauma?

Hey folks, very grateful this space exists ❤️ I'm non-binary and am starting a glp-1 (zepbound) to help with sleep apnea and to get access to gender affirming top surgery.

I'm very lucky to have a HAES informed primary care and therapist who understand that I have an ED history (over a decade in remission) and we have all discussed warning signs for relapse as well as how to go through this process while supporting my nutritional needs.

I have complicated feelings about this medication but, whenever I look for advice on starting the medication, it's very focused on metrics tracking (and lots of other advice that has less to do with supporting your body and more to do with becoming smaller as fast as possible).

I would love practical advice as well as any practices that you do to support your mental and emotional well being while taking this medication.

Hey y’all!

I’m paying the ADHD tax in the form of 2 5lb bags of russet potatoes that I have no reasonable hope of getting through. There’s a community fridge near me for folks who need food to grab (kind of like the little free pantries but it’s a fridge). I would like to make a bulk recipe to go in the fridge, ideally something that can go in a deli container and could be a meal by itself.

I also have chicken breasts, lots of staples and can get more at the store if I need it.

The potatoes are all weird sizes so I probably won’t do them baked/twice baked.

All I can think of is loaded potato soup and potato salad.

Would appreciate any/all thoughts!