u/ababeel1122

TLDR

Note : Don't dm me unless you've shared or have intentions to share the details of my profile with your family right after a day or two of conversation (if they are final decision makers) because saying that family has xyz concerns or caste issues or any other after the talking stage is problematic and a time waste for both sides. And honestly everyone knows their parents obviously and their choices so keeping that in mind send a dm. Also parents wouldn't allow marrying a non punjabi though. My family and I are precisely looking for someone in Isb and Rawalpindi.

FYI : Traumatised by using muzz even though my family asked to make a profile and it was an experience of a few days but a terrible one . Also even though I posted my profile here but after 1 or 2 interactions I felt that maybe my profile is not comprehensive enough for someone to understand me and then dm and also neither my pref were that detailed and I was busy. So here it is

V.Important

Compatibility won't and can't be decided by talking casually. If you think that a woman who is speaking with dignity and not having playful conversation is being rigid . Stop right there because to me marriage discussion is supposed to be very respectful instead of sharing our socials and not involving family right away . It's a waste of time for both of us . So kindly skip this profile.

To me knowing a person is only understanding their values rather than seeing how playful or funny a person is because these things are important but after marriage , not before , in understanding stage and if you have questions too . Just list them in dm and I'll reply right after confirming your profile from my parents.

But the chat stage will only last a week or so. And if it goes fine . Just talk to my parents directly instead of having a chat with me for a month or so . Talk to my mother directly through your mother or involve your father in discussion with my father . Simple. If both families align . Mabrook .

About me :

Height 4'11
Weight 42kg
Niqabi
Grew up and lived in RWP.
Father is an officer in government sector
Mother is a homemaker.
We're 4 siblings . 2 brothers and 2 sisters. All of them are studying .
Now working on hybrid mode for a multinational company related to AI and Data Security . Caste : Mian (Arain)
Own house in RWP and 1 in Isb.

Who am I ?

An empath who understands people and judge them only when they are disrespectful. A person who genuinely helps people without any expectations of return but not at the cost of being exploited. In my free time I code, learn a new language, play chess and read books . I'll be providing assistance in every just matter my spouse would want. Code debug xd, solving life struggles intellectually and practically . Businesses m help chie ho ya IT m as a wife I'd be always there xd .Even if one of us is struggling spiritually, i believe both should boost up each other's confidence and courage for it. And I believe men should be the provider . Agr kabhee as a spouse mere input ki zroorat pri to you'll find me for yourself sbse agee . But being a man, jab tk you're hustling and earning, you should be the "Qawwam, Provider ". No one is perfect, I've my own flaws , you must have yours, being a human .But few things are non-negotiable . You should have a kind heart ( It's the biggest luxury in the world , like nothing can be matched to this . Paisa , garian, ghr ye sb kuch fazool hai agr acha dil ni hai apke pas ). I believe, for a human it is important to be hardworker .

Intelligence and book reading habits would be a super plus . And lots of respect with you calling me "Ap" instead of Tu or tum , and physical or verbal abuse would be big NO . I pray that my spouse should be a man of dignity.

I don’t have a habit of sitting idle , either I code, read a book, do research about tech, psychology and parenting (why parenting? I believe every human should learn parenting as there are millions out there in the world who didn’t get a good parenting even they deserved, so yeah for the next generation and for people who never got good parenting we can learn it to stay gentle with the world around us.

If I don’t have energy I think of patterns and psychology and spend my time in my own personality’s analysis so I can become a better human every passing day . Ye na ho to I sleep or read poetry lol .

And it does sound delusional to my parents and random aunties when I say Allah has specified a person for me so

I don’t have to worry about marrying and I know somewhere in the world Allah is changing him constantly as he changed me over the years for good. But I believe it’s not a delusion. Allah will do it idk how. That’s another reason I never allowed my brain and heart to like someone from the opposite gender because since childhood I’m a good observer and I’ve seen and heard how people in love marriages end up, and I always wondered how painful it would be for them. So I had a stance since I grew older that I’ll just ask Allah what kind of a person I want and won’t take these things in my own hands because I don’t know what He knows and I won’t insist for something/someone I don’t know about .And Allah always makes things work for me.

I’m always straightforward and a bit cold to men and I believe that’s how a female should be q k this is something that saves you from alot of mess aur deen bhee yehi kehta hai , kuch bhla ho ajkl k mahool ka k sb khwateen dri pri hain mrdon se kisi p trust ni kr skte parents bhee na hm.

Ah khair I wrote all this because maybe someone is exactly thinking the same and is an introvert like me so won’t ask these explicitly, but after reading it might click.

What kind of a Muslim I’m

I’m not a kattar person as mostly in our society people are about Islam halan k deen to itni asanian krta hai ye sb culture ka msla hai jo logon n manipulate kr k deen apne purposes ko defend krne k lea use kia hoa. I pray, fast, recite and love reading about Islamic history but I don’t like performative people who don’t understand the essence of deen and focus on SubhanAllah MashaAllah and stuff that help them pretend that they are very religious.

My goals?

Hajj with my spouse (I do savings for that though)
Visiting Al-Aqsa
Making an NGO (not a typical one) for helpless and homeless kids and elderly
Making a software house , even if it's with my spouse. And yeah MS and Phd too in future IA . Or maybe I'll start a 2 year MS here in Pakistan for now if my parents didn't get overwhelmed by the thought of getting me married. To me time is precious and instead of going abroad for MS which in itself is a bit difficult without having a mehram male beside you . So MS in Pakistan sounds like a good option to me.
Upbringing good and humble humans and break patterns of previous generations and taboos

Deal breakers :

Smoking, vaping, sheesha or any recreational drugs.
Alcohol.
Gambling.
Physical, verbal or emotional abuse.
Severe uncontrolled anger.
Arrogance, superiority complex or "sigma male" ideology.
Manipulative behaviour or narcissistic tendencies.
Looking for a wife primarily as an additional income source.
Believing a wife's income automatically belongs to the husband.
Disrespect towards women.
Dishonesty.
Secretive friendships or inappropriate boundaries with the opposite gender.
Intention of polygamy (I would require the Nikah Nama clause restricting a second marriage).
Anger issues
Kattar about deen and believing cultural khud sakhta practices. I’m actually scared of stories and incidents jahan lmbi lmbi darhion wale bus islam logon ko manipulate krne k lea use krte hain.
Must not be bald and having too much weight (60-70 is fine) (adding these as they were my personal preferences as well but inspired from a post somewhere on this sub as a girl added these too) . Plus my genes make me look pretty younger than the age I'm of . So yup my parents have rejected rishta from those looking too older than me .
Earning less than 6 figures because meri pay ziada hai thori to desi families waise hee mrdon ka sans lena mushkil kr deti hain aur 100 msle hote hain so I thought it's better to tell this upfornt.

Kindly fill the Questionnaire if you align with all above and feel like it's your mindset too :

Kindly share your linkedin first
Do you pray 5 times daily?
What are your goals related to religion ?
How do you manage your anger , conflicts?
What role do you expect your wife to play in your life, and what role do you see for yourself as a husband?
Do you prefer joint or nuclear family setup after marriage?
How would you manage relationships with in-laws while protecting marital privacy?
Are you willing to support your wife in setting healthy boundaries?
What's your stance on dowery?
What's your family's stance on it?
Do you think marriage should a simple nikah and a good Walima as per sunnah ? Instead of the unnecessary functions and gathering ?
Do you support women continuing their careers after marriage (if they choose)?
Do you currently or ever had female friends?
Are you willing to sign and respect a polygamy clause in the nikah nama (restricting second marriage)?
What are your goals for next 10 years ?
What would you plan if you're given a task to develop 100 years road map to guide the next two generations?

Thanks again for reading this . Even if you don't align with it , it's fine . You just got some new perspectives for sure after reading this. Edit this profile more and also add dealbreakers as Smoking Sigma male or narcissistic Not humble and egoistic Considering female as the bread earner and labeling female k iska paisa mera Paisa hai Abusive

My preferences

Age: Preferably 23–28
Height: Ideally 5'4"–5'8"
Caste : Arain , Choudhary, Alvi, Awan
Someone who appears reasonably close to my age, as I naturally look younger than my actual age.
Financially responsible and actively working.
Practising Islam according to the Qur'an and authentic Sunnah rather than cultural expectations. I’m not very very practicing in terms
Emotionally mature.
Kind-hearted.
Humble.
Calm during disagreements.
Values respectful communication.
Wants a peaceful marriage rather than a power struggle.

Location preference:
Islamabad / Rawalpindi.

Punjabi family only due to family considerations.

Academic Information - Issue still persists despite adding right details

24F Software Engineer - Parents and are looking for someone like me in my domain (posted on their behalf) No, I'm not Dora The Explorer