u/acgangstalikedat

I do music but in need of money atm ill take anything bru but lmk ill write for you an you send da deposit lmk!!!

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Can someone please help me figure this out please. Im a 21 year old frm alotta places yall an i aint ya average type. I believe in Christ Jesus and The Good Father God above an my commitment to him is so serious it aint funny. I been goin through this spiritual warfare for months (9 months) now with past people i lived wit to livin at my moms an dealin w it worse here. Since December ive been workin on ts move to my promise land. God gave me word on it in December an mind you I aint plan wit him I aint know i was sposed too till April but dats besides da point Ive been puttin in my work on readin da bible an prayin an even talk to god on da daily all da time. Recently its been harder because its dat silent stage atm. I moved up here w my moms in February after gettin kicked outta a situation in January. The struggle was real but my question for yall was is this da enemy comin in to attack or god teachin me sum. I was takin my time to process dat situation in February and March. The spiritual warfare was horrible not only knowing dat da place that was given to me aint fall through but jus tha attacks alone was traumatic. it was arguments to shamin me an my character an who i am as a person to other things an its been non stop. Ive held my faith dat da move gon work even till now i still believe its a day closer an i been puttin in my work cuz faith without action is dead an im aware. April was da worst even on fallin in on my bday month. lost friends, family members, people who i thought was there an was talkin down on my name. yall ima truly good hearted soul an still wish nun but da best for everyone. May I get a job at mcdonalds an god tells me to quit mind you while i tryin to keep up on my bills, i do believe dat god got us through our financials, housin, errything i mean literally errything. He asked me to put my 2 weeks in on my job 4 weeks in an i tested da spirit i even said na that wouldn’t sound like sum you would say while i aint strugglin but my moms too so i aint put my two weeks in when he said too, da day ends an he asked why didn’t you put your two weeks in son? i say wth, why do you want me too? Then my childlike faith come back into da move thinking it could be now it could work out so da next day come an i put my 2 weeks in an i cant say he hasn’t been workin through like i jus passed my knowledge test to get my license an i retake my license in 9 days but back to me puttin my 2 weeks in why would he have me do that even when the people there loved me why would he ask me to do dat not only was i struggling w sin during that time but then the feelings hit do i wanna do this was this really the right decision an all i could here was dont take it back now im gettin messages on my phone sayin break da cycle, my cycle is stayin in the minimum lifestyle when knowin im destined for great an could be more because i see more in myself especially since ive had a relationship w the lord an christ mane. Throughout dat time period was horrible my last day i was gettin yelled at, fallin back into a sin i had gotten outta an strugglin w it still an since ive quit its been worse. I wanna give up mane, truly, i wanna say fuk da move an move on an god is puttin in my spirit to not give up, as im gettin closer as i said i passed my knowledge test took my drivin test da day after (yesterday) failed an scheduled to do it again. my moms is tellin me how its my fault the money is tight an i can’t blame her it is, might he losin tha place an tellin me imma have to go to a shelter an stay there an put your stuff in storage i dont even wanna get into it all not only cuz yall dont know her side of da story either but because it jus wouldn’t be right to put this everywhere ion een know if i should put this out my i know da holy spirit leadin me for an honest answer sumwhere. As i get closer to da move happenin its like everything possible is tryin to keep me back an no im not happy where i am, my mental health is worse an im tired of bein kicked down. I mean she does doordash bit l how can someone work at a job knowin they not making income off it like dat an still doin it an i get told the place bein lost an it’s particularly my fault an i take my accountability because w 3 people of income it came down to 2 an i am doin findin to make ways of income it feels impossible, im tryin my best i dont know what to do. do i quit, father is telling me keep goin but do i today i get told once i get my license i can apply for a movin company an theyll hire you theyre lookin for work an then i think is the enemy holdin me back or is god givin a opportunity i feel like im always livin for people an doin things to make them pleased what do i do can someone please help me before i lose it please someone please.