u/adollopofsanity

I know it's a vent post I dont really mind advice. I'm just kinda feeling so lost at this point.

Last December I decided to get on track financially. I set short term and long term financial goals. Took out my first credit cards to build credit. Set up my 401k and set up a Roth. Stared building an emergency fund/savings. I managed each paycheck meticulously. Things were falling into place. I worked so hard to build a budget and organize my finances.

My savings was meager but on a great track. Then in late March I get a call in the middle of the night. A friend had an emergency with his dog. Life-threatening circumstances. I hopped in my car and picked my friend up immediately. I took out carecredit for the actual emergency vet bill with 0% for 12 months. $1848.83. I immediately put almost my entire savings ($1,100) against the balance just to ensure that there wasn't any chance of the balance not being paid off before the promotional rate ended since my friend was in between jobs and looking for work at the time. I know he'll eventually make me whole even if it's little by little. Even if he doesn't honestly I don't regret it, his dog could have died. I'd make the same choice all over again.

Then in May I was driving home and hit a deer. Liability only. $4,000 in car repairs out of nowhere.

Now I look at my bills and calculate my hours and crunch the numbers over and over and it just feels so... pointless. I know if I knuckle down and don't spend a dime on anything other than utilities and groceries I can pay the debt off in 8 months...but man. What's gonna happen next May? A major car repair? A hospitalization? Will one of my 4 animals have an emergency? Will rent go up? What if something else happens while I still owe this debt?

Just feels like one step forward and two steps back. I know it'll be fine. I know I will get back on track next year when this is paid off. I'm just tired. I wanted to take my boyfriend to Colorado for his birthday this year. He's never vacationed as an adult before or traveled really. I had a trip with my best friend planned for this fall. Nothing fancy just the City Museum in St. louis for a weekend. Instead of setting aside money for my future or living my life I'll be stuck paying off this stupid car repair. I'm just plumb tuckered y'all.

Part of me wonders if I should go ahead and get a second job. I am in the extremely fortunate situation where I can more or less make my own work hours for my job. If I need to work 4am-noon and pick up an evening job I can (or vice versa). I was just doing that for a long time before I got this job. I would sometimes work from 6:30a-2p at a serving gig (no break) and go to my second gig and work from 4p-1a at a music venue also without a break. That kind of shit absolutely burns you the fuck out and I am not in my 20s anymore. I don't know if I have it in me to do that kind of shit again but maybe if it's just for like four months or so I just suck it up. I don't know. I just want to have a life and take vacations and enjoy being alive, you know?

I've been in worse situations financially. Used to be the only time I got to eat was my one free employee meal at the restaurant I worked at and I just didn't eat on my days off so I know I should be grateful. I know having the lights on, running water, a roof over my head, and food in the pantry is so much fucking better than where I have been. I hate feeling guilty for wanting more but I do. Just. Fuck.

Edit:

Since people are confused or skimming and not reading.

>I wanted to take my boyfriend to Colorado for his birthday this year...I had a trip with my best friend planned for this fall. Nothing fancy just the City Museum in St. louis for a weekend.

I used the past tense "wanted" and "had" because obviously those plans are cancelled.

I have always bought my phones outright/refurbished (2-3 years old). I have always had my phones until I killed them.

I LOVED my S6, I loved my S10. I had to get a new phone and in a pinch got a free Pixel 7 back in 2022 as a Black Friday trade-in when I destroyed my S10 less than a year after getting it. I was actually kinda excited to have a brand new release model of a phone. Except I hate this fuckin phone. Google is.... infuriating. I couldn't explain it in a simple post so here's my question:

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If you opted for a refurbished Galaxy after S10, what would be your go to?

Should I bite the bullet and trade this PoS in and snag a new S26?

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I loved my galaxy phones (but I also loved my HTC untill they sucked). So I am tempted to buy a newer Galaxy but I'd be fine going for an older model.

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My greatest fear is planned obsolescence. Any input?

Bit of a long shot, but figured I’d reach out to my community/locals.

Alpha Wolf (Australian metalcore type band) is playing at The Bottleneck on May 31st. Most of my friends who would be interested aren't exactly free to pop up to Lawrence for a show and then drive straight back on a Sunday night (kids/jobs/etc...). 

I’m would rather not make the drive from ICT solo if anyone else was already thinking about going. Or even just linking up at the show to have like a face to be like "Yo! We are both here at this show and that's neat!" would be nice too! 

If interested please just comment. I don't use the reddit app and mobile.reddit does not alert me to DMs for whatever reason. Again, I know it's a long shot but I figured it couldn't hurt to throw it out to the universe!

Full disclosure: We were romantically involved for like maybe 3 weeks when we first met 5-6ish years ago. I broke things off because I didn't feel the same about him. We tried to stay friends but he just kept pushing me about how we were perfect together, cornered me on two separate occasions in which he was drunk and lamenting about how he just didn't understand because we were "meant to be". I told him I wanted nothing to do with him and cut ties completely & blocked him on everything.

Two or so years later we ended up both getting jobs that put us in each other's path again. He apologized for his behavior and owned everything he did. I had moved on and forgave him. The jobs lead to mutual friends which lead to us having a friendly relationship. We became what I felt like was good friends over the last couple of years but something has never felt quite right with how he would look at me and talk to me and recently it got worse. I am so uncomfortable around him. I couldn't put it into words myself but recently a couple friends brought up his behavior. I have decided to cut ties now that I know I am not crazy or imagining things.

I don't think his intentions were bad but he just....fawns over me and it's gross. I don't want to tell him 'you creep me the fuck out with how you fawn over me and look at me like you're in love with me.' He has a terrible temper so a friend is going with me to meet him this weekend. I don't want to hurt him but I know I need to be clear about my reasons. Any advice on phrasing? I don't think there is any good way to do this but there are very not good ways I want to avoid I am sure.