I’m so fucked up
At my job at a teaching center, an autistic child I worked with yesterday saw the scars on my forearm and began hyperfixating on them. She yelled it for the entire center to hear, including my boss, coworkers, and other kids. I couldn’t even get her to detach when I explained that it was a booboo until I gave her some time to let out her stress. Not her fault at all btw, I actually appreciate that a child cared so much to mention it, but it just awakened such a deep sense of shame and embarrassment.
My response later that night: let’s add some new booboos to my arm that are actually visible and fresh. Better yet, I don’t have long sleeves and it’s around 95 F where I live so now the kids are going to have a whole circus of booboos to look at. And the best part, I’m going back home to visit my parents for the weekend, who don’t let me wear long sleeves in the house and are constantly looking at my wrists. What a fuckup I am.