MCA i found out na maraming fubu ang greatest love ko for years.
f19, i have this someone. I’ve been adoring him so much for years and never made any first move towards him kasi may feeling ako sa sarili ko na naj-jinx pag ako nauunang gumalaw ng baso. He’s an athlete, a great one and part of the national team and still part of a famous university in philippines (bali dalawa lagi represents nya)
I was an athlete too that’s where I liked him, he’s my guy friend’s rival and I didnt like him dahil lang pogi siya or what na back to back champion. I adored him because I saw a passion in him, his strategic ways and his discipline to be more better, I am always proud of him so much and always praying for his health. I won’t deny that he’s a campus and sport famous for being star athlete. Years passed and siya lang laman ng puso ko, stalking him in a dump account lang naman sa IG and tinitignan ko lang update sakanya but hindi ganun ka obsessed ha. I stopped being an athlete to focus on my acads and he’s 3rd year varsity while i’m 1st polsci.
I learned to be patient and be more better for him. In every prayer too? he’s never left out.
Right now may mga kaibigan naman akong kateam n’ya, second year. May isa sa lalaki and 5 sa girls. Yung isang lalaki na ‘yon he’s my bestfriend since highschool and he knows better than anyone of how much I secretly love that guy. But he never tells me lahat ng mga nalalaman n’ya sa dorm nila ng boys, of course he already told me na masasaktan ako kaya hindi n’ya sinasabi. Until sinabi sakin ng gf n’ya na kaibigan ko rin lahat lahat, she told me everything she knows na kinukwento sakanya ng bf nya (bff ko na guy). Sinabi n’ya na ayun daw lagi raw nagttrabaho ‘yung greatest love ko sa dorm ng girls sa mga ibang univs, and I know what she meant by nagttrabaho. Ta’s lagi rin daw may ka video call at babytime na mga bakla sa dorm, then ayun kin-lear nya na sakin na “nagp-pa client babyloves mo beh, kaya pala marami silang box ng condom sa dorm ng boys.”
Umiyak ako nun sobra kasi sobrang sakit. Totoo naman? how will you react na ‘yung taong pinaka mamahal at cherish mo ay maraming fubu or gets paid by fucking other girls? Tapos namamakla rin daw minsan. Grabe iyak ko (actually last month pa to). I always prayed for him, I loved him in the most quiet yet peaceful way I could, I waited years too kasi para sa’kin when the time is right and I am ready? Duon na ako lalapit at gagalaw.
Then ayun umiyak lang ako ng umiyak sa bar nun tapos sila pa ‘yung maoy (‘di ako nagiinom). Ta’s ang last advice sakin ng isa ko pang friend na sobra sobrang YOLO? “teh alam mo? magpaclient ka tangina ka. ‘yun nga eh kaya hindi siya nagg-gf talaga kasi marami siyang fubu na taga ibang school pa, hahaha gago ka teh magpa-avail ka dun. Ganun din, virgin ka diba? ayaw mo nun greatest love mo makaka una sa’yo kasi fuck boy naman ‘yung gagong yon”
But how could I? He’s so kind and gentle despite that, kahit hindi kami close kasi sa ibang school ako, kapag naman kasama siya sa mga gala gala ng kaibigan ko introverted gentle man siya. Hindi ako dissapointed dahil naging ganun, nasasaktan lang ako kasi sa lahat ng pwedeng gawin, bakit ayun pa? Ano ka para sa lahat? I know that he’s better than this, he could do so much better than this and ayokong mas lalo siyang sumikat dahil fuck boy siya.
Hindi ko alam gagawin ko, my heart still wants to understand him pero..sobrang sakit. It’s been 1 month since na pinipilit kong hindi siya isipin…