u/aigithalos

Common scenario here: I'm a gamer (kind of), play only single player games so far. My wife is not, but has shown a slight interest of doing a game together.

So, I bought It Takes Two on Steam (PC). It is sitting unplayed in my Steam library so far.

The problem: local co-op (split screen) seems the way-to-go (and the most fun, since we actually are together). But we have only keyboard & mouse. i think to play together locally, we would need a pc controller? (an Xbox controller, I assume?) I'm not sure my wife would agree to buy 2 controllers just to play that one game together. They are not cheap (around €50 for 1). I never used a controller for any other (PC) game.

Other possibility: online co-op. But that feels less "together". We would need another PC for that, and the only other device we have is a MacBook my wife uses at work (not the best suited for gaming, I think; not even sure it works on Mac (in coop with a windows pc...))

What are your suggestions to be able to play together?

I (38M) have been married to my wife (37F) for 10 years, we have 3 children. We have our conflicts, disagreements and stubbornness, but generally speaking I think we have an 'ok' marriage.

My mother has been in hospital (palliative care unit) for several months.

Last Saturday, while we were at the school fair with our children, I got the message that my mother asked for sedation. We then agreed that I should go to the hospital immediately, where I was with my father, brothers and sister (my mother already asleep).

Together with the medical team, we decided to wait 2 more hours for the arrival of my last brother before stopping the machines which kept my mother alive. I then called my wife to explain the situation, and told them she should come with the kids (within those 2h) if they wanted to say goodbye to their grandmother/mother-in-law.

Since I was already at the hospital, my wife didn't have the means of transportation to come there by her own effort. I told her on the phone that I was not in the mood or position - at my mothers deathbed - to think of solutions for them.

She arrived with the kids less than an hour later; they got a lift from other parents at that school fair. I came to meet them at the hospital's kiss&ride, and they got ample time to say goodbye before my mother passed away later that night, where we were all present.

The next morning (Sunday), my wife told me that she was upset about that phone call, for my curt communication and my unavailability to help them to get there. On which I replied that I found it disgusting to ask me things like that in this situation (my mother just died, remember?). She very much confirmed that she thought she was completely right to think so AND to tell me on that moment - she and the kids are also mourning! - especially since there was a busy week ahead of us in which I would be very much occupied with co-organising the funeral and she would be facilitating me to do that by taking care of the kids.

I got emotional and angry; the conversation stopped there. This morning, I addressed it again by saying I was angry for her telling me that at that moment. She again confirmed that she stands behind what she said, that it wasn't a reproach, but that she was completely right in expressing that feeling. I said that I think the timing was wrong, that it felt very tactless and unrespectful towards what I was going through. I expressed that I feared this will trigger a resentment towards her, and she replied "ok, that's your choice".

I do not know how to continue from this. While mourning for my mother (and helping the kids in their mourning), I don't want to have to deal with marital problems (which we have had our fair share of, I'm sure...) While my wife is being supportive in other ways (e.g. she is there for the kids during meetings with the undertaker), I feel she misses the point in acknowledging my emotional preoccupancies, and keeps claiming her own right in what she said. I feel like she won't ask for forgiveness for how her words impacted me, but I feel I cannot go over this as long as she doesn't acknowledge how she has hurt me.

tl;dr
While my mother was dying, my wife was very disappointed that I couldn't organise her and the kid's transportation to the hospital to say goodbye, which she told me right after the passing away. I feel disgusted by her tactlessness in addressing this issue, but she claims to be completely justified. What can I still do or say to her to be able to continue together during these very emotional times?

Just out of curiosity: at what point do you decide to abandon your current colony and start a new run?

I find myself often starting anew: to try out another mod, or another biome, or another starting scenario. Or I get annoyed by my colonists with mental breaks, or by my far-from-ideal base layout.

I only once built a starship to end the game, but apparently not many players pursue endgame goals like this?

FYI: 500h in game, no DLC, but like to try out mods like Medieval Overhaul, Combat Extended, Vanilla Factions Expanded, and of course some UI or QOL mods

Nu we een aantal warme dagen voor de boeg hebben (tot 30°C), krijg ik zoals gewoonlijk weer last van 'hittestress'. Hiermee bedoel ik niet enkel dat ik het fysiek warmer krijg, maar ik krijg daar echt stress van.

Ik merk dat ik steeds minder goed tegen de warmte kan (snel veel zweten, zonnebrand, sneller uitgeput) zodat ik liever binnen zit met airco aan dan buiten. Maar alleen het gedacht al dat de dagen warm worden en blijven, stresseert me: "Ga ik er wel tegen kunnen?" "En het gaat nog veel warmer worden deze zomer" "Oh nee, weer een hittegolf, het klimaat is echt om zeep".

Ik maak me dus grote zorgen, zowel over mijn eigen fysieke weerbaarheid tegen de warmte als over de toekomst van ons Belgisch klimaat met meer hittegolven, grotere droogtes en hevigere regenbuien. Het begin van een warme periode zorgt steeds voor een oplaaiing van die zorgen.

Bij de mensen rond me merk ik heel weinig begrip. "Allee, zo warm is het toch nog niet", en vooral het alom gezegde "Geniet van het mooie weer!" Hitte vind ik geen mooi weer.

Zijn er nog mensen die dit zo ervaren of hiermee kunnen relateren?