u/aikolbee

don’t mind my chapped lips but i have a bit of upper lip facial hair that i have never messed with (shaved, trimmed, waxed, etc…)

i am reallyyyyyyy insecure about it as a detransitioned female and idk what my best option would be for removal.

some factors:
-i dont wear makeup
-laser hair removal is probablyyyyy not an option but i can look into it

i’m really worried that if i shave it or get it waxed or have someone do that stringy thing hair removal that it’ll grow back and the stubble stage with make me even MORE insecure :(

any advice about my best options, maybe i could see a dr for recommendations? my ultimate (maybe pipe dream) goal is it to be gone forever

help?

*see end of post for some clarifications, comment if you have more questions or just stuff in general!!*

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hi all, my name is amber and i am a 24 year old woman (afab) who went through a ftm transition and lived as a trans man for multiple years.

i’m not really sure what all piled up onto me believing i was a trans man. i was around 15 years old when i first started exploring things like gender, sexuality, etc… (i am bisexual and that is around the time i accepted/understood that label for myself). when i turned 16 is really when i had more confusions about my gender identity and things started out smaller; dressing more androgynously, looking up different information online about gender identity/being transgender, and bit by bit began to socially transition ftm.

from the ages of 16/17-19 (rough estimates) i lived as a trans man, using he/him pronouns almost exclusively, coming out to most people, all of my friends and some family calling me by my chosen name. i was binding, wearing more masculine/androgynous clothing. i felt fairly fine with these decisions and when i was 17 i started hormones (testosterone). i was only on hormones for about 3-4 months maximum before i realized that i was making a mistake and have been for years.

i was young. i was confused. i was struggling with mental health, body dysphoria/eds, ptsd. i’ve tried so hard to psychoanalyze how i got there but i think it really just comes up to: confusion/curiosity going too far, social media influence, mental health issues, and just wanting a “shield” to hide behind. a mask or identity i couldn’t be hurt through? i’m not sure.

what i DO know is that i was not genuinely a transgender person. 2020 was the very beginning of my detransition, it really was like coming out again. telling people to call me my given name, accepting my femininity more, growing out my hair, finding a cute clothing style. i had a group of friends i met in 2021 who all truly helped me through my detransition and feel comfortable as a woman. my boyfriend back then was very supportive and kind, it just wasn’t a relationship that was meant to be. kind of a we needed what we needed, then time passed on.

i am now 24 and rarely even tell new people about the time i spent as a trans man. i have trouble visiting back home with the anxiety of seeing people who knew me as trans. working through my insecurities and anxieties regarding that is still a daily progress.

my main insecurities: the fact it happened in the first place, i have thicker “peach fuzz” than the average woman, the little bit my voice dropped on t, and the little bit of bottom growth i had.

i’ll end this on a happy note!!! i am content in my sexuality and gender identity. i am happy i figured this out. i am living a good life. i feel pretty and i think i have a pretty cool sense of style. i’m glad to have grown into the person i am today.

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*random notes: some of the ages/years/timing of photos might be a little off. the photos with this post were all from different parts of a year, i have a january bday, and i just didn’t feel the need to try so hard to make every number completely correct.*