I am not interested in shows about cops, lawyers, politics, crime, mafia, military, detectives…you get it. I don’t mind if that is a small aspect but a whole show about cops is gonna turn me off. I’m looking for shows of any genre, one you will recommend to everyone, one you wish you could forget just so you could watch it over again.
Recommend me some girly shows based on shows like: Ginny & Georgia, sex lives of college girls, Margo’s got money troubles. When the boyf’s at work I like to get down on stuff he’d never like to watch together. I’ve tried desperate housewives, sex and the city and they just don’t quite do it for me
Had an excruciating phone call with my mother about two weeks ago that has just had me sick to my stomach ever since. I haven’t spoken to her since then and she hasn’t reached out to me. My little sister is two years NC with her but they had a short string of emails where mom lovingly begged for contact, sister lovingly drew boundaries, mom interpreted boundaries as a smear campaign and well, you know the rest. I have purposely been avoiding this topic with my mom but she called me and practically forced me to talk about it, although I told her several times I did not want to. In retrospect I should have just hung up.
So mom asks me point blank, did I ever feel abused as a child. I said yeah, sometimes. Not the answer she wanted. She asked for specific examples of physical abuse (because she doesn’t think emotional abuse is real). I asked her if that’s what she really wanted, and gave her some off the top of my head. Then ensues the most gut wrenchingly uncomfortable conversation I’ve had in years where she tells me she doesn’t trust her children with her heart, she is actually the one being abused by us now, she doesn’t want to see people who think she was abusive. Made me feel truly horrible. I wish I had just lied and said no, she was fine! But didn’t want to throw my sister under the bus. And this is also not the first time she has ever been told she was abusive. I ran away from home when I was 12 years old ffs.
I see what she does. It is classic DARVO. I see her putting her emotions in my hands. It just blows my mind that she doesn’t see it. How she just attempted to make me console her for having felt abused by her. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I just sat there speechless until she hung up. When I was a kid, I constantly lied about the way I truly felt to make her feel better. I have always stuffed my own feelings aside for hers. Even now, I wish that I had just stifled myself so I could have avoided that confrontation. I can live with the pain of being dishonest with myself more than I can with the pain of hurting her. But I just don’t feel like I can do it anymore. I know I could call her up and tell her wha she wants to hear but I just can’t do it anymore. But that hurts too. I have been having extremely dark thoughts to just make it all end and never have to deal with it again and I hate that too. She is the only person that puts me in this head space. There is no relief. She is old and she will die and I will hold this guilt until I go. I also lost my job which i really loved literally 24 hours before this which she knew but didn’t care I guess. Like always, I can carry the emotional load of us both!