because i can't anymore.
i never felt good in this body.
escapism doesn't work anymore as well.
i just want to finally and it all it's the only thing i can think about now.
there's no people as ugly as i am i look so incredibly disgusting no matter how i try to look better than i usually do im still ugly as hell i can't handle thinking about how terrible i look compared to every single girl next to me i want to vomit my guts
im just becoming even more convinced that social life is for beautiful people only life in general is for pretty looking ones only. nothing left for me.
i can't even go to the store peacefully. i hate being around other people. i would really prefer to rot at home alone just to not feel this inferiority so painfully. i just wish i was dead by now.
this whole "hiplet" ragebait bs just reminds me that if you have an 10/10 (or 8+ in general) face men wouldn't give a fuck about your hip dips or whatever, this is so stupid. they just want to make us, already unattractive women, feel even more miserable. this idea doesn't apply to beauties, obviously.
men love to leave varying levels of nonsense comments online, calling even incredibly beautiful models or actresses "average" "sub 5" "she didn't age well" "she got fat" but let's be honest: irl, you can be fat or scrawny and completely flat (unless it's extremely overweight or underweight ig), you can have hip dips, you can have terrible thin hair on your head etc etc, BUT if you have a very pretty face: big eyes, small button nose, plump pink lips, oval face shape with nice proportions, correct bite and well developed jaw with V shaped chin, good face symmetry and little fat deposits in the face (even if the rest of the body is quite fat), YOU STILL WILL BE EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE AND DESIRABLE, no matter what your body looks like. while girls with perfect bodies but ugly faces still remain "butterface", they're unattractive to the great majority of men, they subjected to insults and constantly hear jokes about how you can only have sex with them if they put a bag over their head.
the face is the basis of everything.
an ugly face = it's over.
without these, even with normal facial features, you won't be even average. i have overbite and stick out teeth, people sometimes say that i look "average" and that to be attractive i just need to start smiling, but when i smile, they suddenly change their minds and say that my smile looks ugly and gross, and i actually better not smile anymore. i feel unworthy of feeling happy lol. until I save up for braces (that won't happen any soon) and wear them for three years, i won't be perceived as a human in general.
the prices of braces, plastic surgery, and even basic cosmetics make me want to cry. i'm so tired of being the weird ugly girl. every day it becomes harder for me to even just go outside. i've wanted to end all of this for so long already. i can't do anything peacefully, the only thing i can think about is how ugly i am and how it has ruined my whole life. even escapism doesn't work anymore. i can only lie around and stare at the ceiling for days.
this is precisely why people believe that all femcels are beautiful girls with low self-esteem, and that all their problems are imaginary. due to the ubiquitous abundance of images of people, and particularly women, whose appearance is objectively far above average, beauties have become considered the basic norm. people with truly average (and still attractive, or at least not repulsive) appearance are now considered below average and, therefore, ugly. the existence of REALLY ugly women is completely denied, which contributes to even greater stigma and rejection, provoking even more inhumane treatment of those unlucky in the genetic lottery.
i think about this almost every (if not every) day and it's terrible, it's so exhausting. i never feel safe in my body, and the fact that i'll never really understand what exactly is wrong with me in people's eyes makes me feel completely disarmed against this hostility. all these attempts to fix something through the prism of my own view of my own face are tantamount to shooting in the dark. i feel like i'm only making already bad things worse.
and this isn't about misogyny, but about the constant feeling that i have no right to communicate with someone who looks better than me (and that's almost all the women i've ever met). i have a feeling that my friends are embarrassed when i'm around them. or that they don't really like me and are using me as an "ugly friend" to look even better in comparison... i know it's very stereotypical, but sometimes i really can't shake this feeling. it's as if it's impossible to look at my face without disgust, even in the context of a friendship, not romantic relationship. and it's even worse at the very beginning of a conversation, when i have a desire to get to know someone, because i know that my appearance is repulsive, and most likely i won't receive any reciprocal initiative to become friends. in fact, i'm even more afraid to interact with other women than with men; for some reason, women's hostility towards me is much more painful for me.
it's have already been some posts about r/amiugly and other similar subreddits (these specific comments are taken from r/stesnyashka) here.
the problem isn't just that objectively pretty girls who know they're pretty post their pics there to get more compliments, but also how people in the comments constantly indulge this narcissism. people start saying what they really think about this pretty woman's looks, how beautiful she is, unlike average and below average looking girls who mostly post here. and girls of average appearance and below, after such comments, understand that if they were told something good, it was only out of pity, because people will only truly idolize stacies. there is literally no way to feel any more confident or better. it won't get any better. you're either born attractive or you're not. and if you're not, it's simply impossible for people (especially men) to treat you well. sorry. i wish i was dead at birth instead of being born ugly.
it's driving me crazy, actually... i hate my appearance, i hate people's reactions to it, and i hate the inability to get even a somewhat objective look at it. i don't know if i should continue living with this face or not. for some reason, people here say i look normal, but people in real life say i'm incredibly ugly. have you ever had this happen?
i already know that i won't look any better with my hair washed, with my teeth brushed and my body clean and nice smelling. i always feel dirty and disgusting when i go outside no matter how physically neat i am. i have no strengths left to take care of myself. i don't really care about my health because i no longer want to stay alive. having body is extremely exhausting as it is, and it getting even worse when the body is ugly because you don't get any benefits for taking care of yourself. you're equally ugly in clean clothes, with well-groomed hair, with a perfectly shaved body, it doesn't matter. still no advantages.
that's actually the question.
i think i might have something like this, but i'm not sure i want to see a psychiatrist about it. after all, i won't stop being ugly, which means i'll face bullying again sooner or later, which means any positive effects from therapy (if any) will be lost. i don't know.
i wonder why do they believe in this idea so much because it's so unrealistic, like, i'm 5'7 myself and in my city i rarely meet guys of my age taller than me, many of them are shorter than me, actually, so let's say that most of the guys here are between 5'6 and 5'9, and yet I constantly see these "short" guys hanging out with their girlfriends (they're all petite, skinny and pretty, of course), so incels' whining about height and how even very short girls want to date two meters tall guys only seems so stupid to me. i guess a lot of girls want a guy who's taller than them, but he don't have to be 6'0 for that to happen, especially considering they mostly like cute short girls and wouldn't date a girl 6'0 or taller themselves (unless she's some kind of giga stacy model, obviously).
i'm a complete newbie at this and have no idea how to find something that suits my face :c i have almost no pics of myself with makeup, but i'll attach two at the end for example.
"you don't want to send your pussy pics to a random creep? haha fakecel." they can't be that dumb. sending intimate pics to strangers is not the same as having good sex, and certainly not the same as being in a romantic relationships. obviously. no woman, attractive or unattractive, wants to be perceived as a piece of meat, no matter how clichéd it may sound. femcels want to feel like desirable partners, not impersonal genitalia. and so, harassment in direct messages will never equal adequate sexual attention. incels will never understand this, i guess. for them, the fact that men are willing to fuck even a hornet's nest is proof that sexually undesirable women don't exist, but there's a difference between being physically able to be fucked and being desirable for sex. no one wants to be used as a dick hole while their partner doesn't care about their pleasure and doesn't even look them in the eye, because their appearance is too disgusting to be arousing. it's uncomfortable, painful, and scary. it's also uncomfortable to receive sexually explicit messages from men, knowing that in real life they wouldn't even look at you with your appearance. why can't moids just leave us alone, since treating women normally is beyond their capabilities?
they say terrible things about women who weren't born attractive, and at the same time they mock women who change their appearance to fit beauty standards to avoid being humiliated, because these women are "fake" and "all look the same" in their opinion. it makes me think that the only way to avoid bullying is to be born pretty; even becoming pretty later is not enough.
it's not that i think it will help me much, but it just gets on my nerves to see these moids saying that having soft features is bad because beautiful models look quite androgynous (most women have soft features, it's literally feminine, even some "masculine features" like a square face shape look mostly softer than in men), that being chubby makes you ugly and you should weigh not more than 55 kg (fat deposits are also natural for women; looking fatter than men is due to the hormonal balance of the female body. active fat deposits in the lower body and abdomen are a sign of health, but for a lot of men today, it's unattractive). in general, for some reason, they deny that women can not look like babyface cuties or androgynous models as their opposite, and still be attractive. because of this, it is impossible to get any kind of objective rate of your appearance; they often rate even average-looking girls with a pleasant looks as below average. their tips on how to improve your appearance also doesn't make much sense, because a girl doesn't have to look like adriana lima to be considered attractive. i'm looking for ways to improve my appearance from sub 5 to average, but it seems that none of their recommendations make sense.
moids are like "man should not humiliate himself because of w*men!!" but if a woman is beautiful enough in their opinion they themselves will be glad to suck her toes and so on
(ik this one is used like a meme but still they says things like this unironically and this is so annoying)
only a couple of times in my life have there been situations when drunk men pestered me on the street, and i was also harassed a couple of times when i was a teenager (by other teens, if something), but then i didn’t feel humiliated as other women usually describe it, i probably even felt a little better from the fact that at least someone could find me sexually attractive (even realizing that sober these men would not even look in my direction). sometimes i even wish it would happen again. usually when i go outside, if anyone pays attention to me, it’s children/groups of young people who glance at me and laugh. i hate it. if people around me can't leave me alone at all, i'd rather be a sex object in their eyes than an object of ridicule.
does anyone feel similar? is this very strange?