u/all_by_myself20

Need to get a one and the same certificate for my visa process. Pani ayyi savatledu

Please, anyone with any connection or contacts?

You've probably heard people say, "Lower your expectations" or "Never have expectations." How is it possible though? To not expect anything when you've put in so much effort?

It's easy to say, "You have to act without any expectations," but much harder to put into practice. Could one repeatedly put in the same effort knowing well that they would get nothing in return? Maybe once or twice. But every day? Even then, I would at least have hopes that someday my efforts would be recognized or rewarded. And what is hope? Just another form of expectation.

I understand that expectations create disappointment. But are we supposed to eliminate them just to avoid being disappointed? We care about people, and naturally, we want them to care about us too. Can't we call that an expectation? Everything after that is just how you want them to care about you like communication, gifts, affection, effort. And when a loved one stops loving you, of course you're disappointed. Why? Because you love them and want them to love you back. Isn't that an expectation?

Maybe those expectations are simply our standards. If you phrase it that way you could call it self-respect. Phrase it differently and they are taken as something selfish. I don't think I can see them as two completely different things. Maybe they are, maybe they're not. I might be wrong about this and of course, entitlement isn't the same as expectations. Just saying, before you pounce at me.

There might be people in this world who act without expectations. I'm not one of them. I'm not a saint either.

This is just how I feel, and I feel you definitely don't need to "lower your expectations."

You've probably heard people say, "Lower your expectations" or "Never have expectations." How is it possible though? To not expect anything when you've put in so much effort?

It's easy to say, "You have to act without any expectations," but much harder to put into practice. Could one repeatedly put in the same effort knowing well that they would get nothing in return? Maybe once or twice. But every day? Even then, I would at least have hopes that someday my efforts would be recognized or rewarded. And what is hope? Just another form of expectation.

I understand that expectations create disappointment. But are we supposed to eliminate them just to avoid being disappointed? We care about people, and naturally, we want them to care about us too. Can't we call that an expectation? Everything after that is just how you want them to care about you like communication, gifts, affection, effort. And when a loved one stops loving you, of course you're disappointed. Why? Because you love them and want them to love you back. Isn't that an expectation?

Maybe those expectations are simply our standards. If you phrase it that way you could call it self-respect. Phrase it differently and they are taken as something selfish. I don't think I can see them as two completely different things. Maybe they are, maybe they're not. I might be wrong about this and of course, entitlement isn't the same as expectations. Just saying, before you pounce at me.

There might be people in this world who act without expectations. I'm not one of them. I'm not a saint either.

This is just how I feel, and I feel you definitely don't need to "lower your expectations."

I need a therapist but I can't afford one. I feel I have so much baggage and I can't dump all that on my friends. I feel isolated, alone, unheard even after good social events.

Honestly, I don't know what to do. All my friends grew apart. I don't feel the closeness anymore. I feel like they don't care about me and respect me anymore. I feel jealous of everyone. I get fomo looking at everybody's life.

Well, what use is it writing this here anyway?