I had a dream last night that included several different weird food combinations, but the only one that I can remember is Toasted Coconut Mac and Cheese. I think with the right cheeses, it could be good, but it also sounds equally repulsive.
Hi Everyone. Last night, my fiance [M31] and I [F28] hosted a small Fourth of July cookout at our house with my immediate family - just my parents [M63 & F60] and younger sister [F25].
For context, the house that my fiance and I live in was initially my family's (parents, sister, and I) house. My parents bought it in the early 2000s and moved out in 2023 when they divorced. My sister moved out around then as well (I originally moved out in 2018 before moving back in 2023 to buy the house). The house was a hoarded house, and I had to clean it out before we moved in. The house is still being renovated, but my parents are on much better terms since they divorced (they enjoy living separately but still like to get together as a family), so we have occasional gatherings at the house.
Additional context - my family likes to joke using crude humor; it's something that has been normalized by my parents and sister, and is also normally used on my dad's extended family side.
Now, the story - My dad arrived at the cookout on time, but my mom and sister arrived a little late. Once everyone arrived at our house, my dad and fiance went outside to grill the meat (my dad asked to help grill his own burgers because he likes them well done).
After the meat and all other food was ready, everyone came to the kitchen to make their plates. It was a bit disjointed at first, but eventually, everyone made a line and grabbed their food and sat down at the table together.
A few minutes into sitting together, my sister asked if my dad or fiance had made any vegetarian hotdogs or hamburgers for me, since I don't eat meat. Using her brand of humor, she asked if I had a “vaggie wiener” (veggie wiener/hotdog).
This comment made my fiance very upset. He looked at my sister with wide eyes and asked her why she thought that was an appropriate comment to make in our house. My sister looked at him, not believing that he was serious, and laughed it off. She then, without thinking, said something else vulgar (I don't remember what she said). My fiance replied to her, “If I would have said that at the dinner table as a kid, my parents would have smacked me.” I didn't look up from my plate, but I could tell that my parents were looking around uncomfortably, and everyone got quiet. My sister just quietly apologized. My fiance then got up and said “I stopped saying stuff like that when I was around 6 or 7” and then left the dinner table. My family and I silently continued to eat as he gathered his keys and put on his shoes and left. He did not take his plate of food, and left it at the table untouched.
After he left, my sister began silently crying, but tried to continue with conversations to not let it show. My family asked me what had happened, and I said that I wasn't sure, because I was still in shock from the interaction. My mom told my sister that she believed that what she said upset my fiance. My sister replied that she didn't know what his problem was. I tried to change the topic.
My fiance came back to the house about 10 minutes later, and the atmosphere dropped. He went back into the dining room and looked at everyone, then went upstairs. I tried to gather my family up and pack away leftovers as quickly as I could without ruining the mood further or rushing anyone out. He came back down once more before they left, and I told him that everyone was getting ready to leave, and he silently went upstairs. As everyone was leaving, the mood was low, but I thanked everyone for coming and apologized for the circumstances.
When everyone left, I confronted my fiance and asked him what had happened. He said that he felt disrespected in his house by my sister and her crude humor, and that he lost his appetite when she commented. He said that he felt like it was a targeted comment, and he retaliated. He also told me that I was wrong for not standing up for him, and not addressing my sister's crude humor. He said that he feels like she is always being microaggressive towards him. I relayed that this was normal behavior for my side of the family - he should know this after being with me for 10 years. I told him that I agreed that it was crude of my sister to say that, but his reaction was disproportionate. My family is now contacting me and asking what they did, if I'm okay, etc.
AITAH for not standing up for my fiance?
TLDR: My sister said some crude comments at a cookout ("vaggie wiener," "I have to shart," etc.) that upset my fiance, and I didn't stand up for him. He is now mad and I don't know how to move forward.